TBH as a teacher, I think the apple thing is kind of cute and creative.

You’ve got everybody making memes and bitching about how Leo was nominated five times for an Oscar and never won...hasn’t Amy Adams been nominated the same number of times*? And also she’s not insufferable in person? Where are HER memes?

THIIIIIIS I’ve never understood why people think it’s boring. They’re not doing it right!

You’re fucking grey? Crime.

“It’s going to affect the lives of several people, all because of her failure to properly supervise her class,” Eubanks said.

A thousand points for Gryffindor for that last one.

This could never have enough stars.

And that will be my reply if anyone asks if I’ve heard this song.

This is stupid as fuck. Are you fucking kidding me.

If he wasn’t running behind you, then I’d say you dodged a bullet.

Absolutely your best life.

I think it’s safe to say that there wasn’t enough moisture for pruney fingers.

You should have barfed your stomach flu all over him. What a douche!

One time at this jacuzzi at a hotel (that could probably seat like 40 people) a group of 14 year old boys got in and one was bragging about how he “fingered Jessica for like three hours.” I think I outright laughed and left. Three hours? A) you’re doing it soooo wrong, and B) who lets a guy finger them poorly for…

Man, this has been a rough week, emotionally. I had no fewer than three students burst into tears and have a breakdown/confess things to me, and while they’ve all been referred to and seen our counselor, I wish there was more that I could do for them. Some of my students (high school) have such tough home lives, and I…

I fucking love you though

I was talking to a friend about something like this — we were talking about Isla Fisher being cast as Myrtle when Myrtle is a bigger girl, but not obese. Isla Fisher is beautiful, but doesn’t look like Myrtle. And then we had trouble thinking of an actress who could have been Myrtle — they’re all either quite thin or…

That reminds me of this episode of Psych where they’re investigating this Jack the Ripper play and the director tells Gus that he can’t have a lead role and he’s like, “What, black people hadn’t been invented yet?”

Damn Bette Midler, SLAY

I paused Caribou Lou and dreaming about coconut rum for fucking that?