Not to mention that many, many American Jews are less than thrilled with Israel right now.  

That’s what I love about the disciplinary administrator’s office.  There’s nothing political about it.  You fuck up, you lose.

That’s what you get for marrying a woman young enough to be your daughter, dad!

And she is a bad woman.

I have an old manual typewriter and I pulled it out when my daughter was in grade school and we had tons of kids parading in and out of our house for a week to type!

This still works.  When she was 7, I drove my kid to see Mount Rushmore and we hit Wall Drug and the Corn Palace on the way there.  We also hit Carhenge and the Ball of Twine on the way home.  Very good stuff.  Don’t forget the World’s Largest Prairie Dog on I-70 in western Kansas.

Under federal law governing credit cards, the maximum amount you can be liable for is $50 and if the charges are made after you report the card as lost or stolen, you have no liability.

been forced to eat cake celebrating a human they loathed

Please consider purchasing your own Hazmat suit for chicken night.

At least he knows who the Jonas Brothers are. The last CD my husband bought (streaming music? what’s that?) was Warren Zevon. Truly a clueless Luddite and okay with it, I think. But not fun for me. Thank God I have a teenager. (Only have so many occasions to say that!)

And who hasn’t wanted to correct someone who mixes us vulva, vagina, etc.?  Learn your damn body parts!

My husband never remembers who Kanye West is.  Our daughter always groans when I start with, “Remember Bruce Jenner?”

Pretty sad that of all the horrible things we could be called, fat is the killer of all, especially women.

My brother was the king of insults and always knew my weakest, most tender spots.  He could send me spiraling into a shame meltdown from which it would take me a week to recover by calling me Two Ton Tessie from Tallahassee.  Note: I was a normal-sized girl.

Correct.  I meant in the end.

Hey, folks - I’m too unorganized to remember to buy my candy at the grocery store, so I regularly buy candy for the kids, pop for everyone and popcorn if it’s desired.  In short, I’m keeping the theatre open all on my own so feel free to smuggle in snacks at the new Town Center IMAX in Manhattan, KS!

I live each and every day with my husband of 20 years and yet, Readers, I feel as if I do not know him.

Understood. My husband was a huge Warren supporter in the early days and then the DNA test happened and the law school designation of Native American and well, there she goes. But if they all come with baggage, I’ll take the baggage of the one who works hard and comes up with actual solutions rather than hair-plugs…

I hear you.  She does make some dubious fashion choices, but after all those years of Brownback, I’m on the edge when it comes to all Kelly criticism!