Hair of the dog.

Great. Can I wrap a used tampon around the door to a gun shop?

For the vast majority of human history, the 17 year old girls in question were treated as property being bartered with. I’d guess that nobody asked them what they thought about it so your contention as to how that practice was considered is probably based on incomplete data.

I love these photos. President Obama is a very handsome man, and a fine statesman. I love him and his family.

The cane, the sweater, the needing physical support, the little show-trip.

I love how she just sits down with her purse and hammers that shit out like a Sunday school teacher for the first half of the song. Then something shifts and she gets the Holy Spirit and just tears it up. And then you realize she wore a fine fur just for the wonderful showmanship of tossing off a fine fur in the…

I put this on as an AM pick me up, and my daughter ran into the room and grabbed her Elmo microphone, and started “singing” along for most the song. I did good good.

All the times “Yas Queen” has been uttered, should have been saved for now.

Normally I wouldn’t respond to a troll but you caught me on a bad day and your comment is trash.

*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT*

“The Saturday Night Live alum, who most recently starred in Adam Sandler’s The Ridiculous 6 and Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser...”

Yes I have seen that happen and really hurt people. Someone loses a relative and then another person talks about how their cat also had cancer and died and you are like...

I dunno, I’m okay thinking it’s bad to fully elevate pets to human status and act like your dog is literally equivalent to a human being. It’s especially awful if you’re equating your loss of a pet or a pet’s medical hardships to someone loss of a human family member or friend or human illness.

Five years.

I really don’t understand how this is still a thing. One of the previews before Star Wars last night was for White People of Ancient Egypt or whatever it’s called.

I did a little happy dance. She is just so fucking awesome.

OMG LIKE I COULDNT LOVE JK ANY MORE AND SHE DOES THAT. I haven't had a reaction like that to a tweet...ever.

Am I the only person on the planet who thought he was making a sarcastic comment to himself when he said he’d killed them all?

Oh man, cue the outrage from fanboys who mobbed me the other day when I was trying to explain why the rape scenes in GoT were objectionable to many (including me).

“And I don’t think we should be making life more confusing for our children.”