You could also use it as a weird cult identifier, like "young Jenny was cast from the fold when she appeared with a clam brand instead of the socially acceptable hot dog, it was clear she had been fraternizing with OTHERS"

Plus, that “hot dog” charm is a snake in a bun.

No, that second one is a clit ring.

So it’s knockoff Monopoly tokens with holes dremeled through them and then stuck on unbent paper clips.

sounds like less blood than the ensuing aftermath of grabbing the wrong towel, though

I refuse to believe that anyone actually buys this shit. I can’t accept a reality in which people affix pewter charms to their towels.

Lord, this is some nouveau riche bullshit. Regular people don’t need this and won’t buy something that’s just going to jam up the washing machine when you forget it’s on the towel.

Dry yourself off, draw blood.