I hope that picture follows that kid and haunts him for the rest of his life.  I hope that every interviewer he faces at every job interview he goes on pulls out a file folder and pulls out that picture and asks “How do you explain this?”

Well, “Country that throws billions of dollars at sport beats countries that regard same sport as little more than a game for schoolchildren” doesn’t have quite the same ring.

“Hand of Dog” as it’s known in Argentina

Is that 1% referring to the amount of DNA they don’t share with their wife?

Right...because playing 90 in the DC heat and humidity and making a 50 yard run to make the key play is exactly the same as someone running a dozen steps after the 18th TV timeout. 

Well, if Billy actually knew anything about the game besides whatever hot takes he plagiarizes from r/soccer every morning, he’d have tied Geiger’s shitty officiating into his microwaved-leftover #MLSSUCKS shtick for some easy lulz and clicks.  But he doesn’t know anything about the game. He probably just assumed…

Hey Billy, why no mention of the worst officiating in a World Cup game since (*checks notes*) the turd of a Portugal vs. Netherlands match at WC-06 when Valentin Ivanov sent practically everyone off the field in a tantrum? AND no mention that the referee responsible for this horrendous shitstorm of football travesty…

This game exemplifies why referees from small leagues shouldn't work World Cup knockout games. He lost control and it was an utter joke. 

Fact: Fairytale of New York is one of the best, and arguably the best, secular Christmas song of all time.

Diamondbacks disqualified, Rockies advance?

That explains the triple from a relief pitcher.

If I were a low-level Marlins staffer, I’d put the office phone used for trades about 5 feet to Jeter’s left. That way I’d be sure he’d never get to it.

“I’m a football player.”

[Tim Tebow hits a home run]

College teams can’t move and for some unfathomable reason their new stadiums never become obsolete after 20 years.

What’s worse, being unemployed (while sitting on a guarenteed $16Mil) or playing for the Browns?

Have you noticed how some household chores that you used to hate suddenly become more appealing once you have kids?

Here’s some yakkin, btw