The OP did not say cheating was good or even acceptable, no matter how many times they say that was her point. I think there are probably more than a few people on this thread who have been cheated on, it’s the only thing that would make their posts make sense.

Agreed, completely. I’ve been really surprised by the vehemence over the hack here at Gawker.

This social construct we’ve created is really destructive. The puritanical values that the general population seems to claim to embrace, really don’t mesh well with reality.

The disconnect here is that you’re arguing the point as though the opposition is arguing that cheating is “good” or “ok”...that isn’t the argument at all.

I'm genuinely surprised by the reaction the OP is getting this is truly disappointing.

It would appear that only you and I understand the OP

A good analogy would be a closeted homosexual in a heterosexual relationship—in fact, we had a good example of that recently where the overwhelming response is that Gawker had “ruined this guy’s life,” regardless of the fact that he also made the choice to attempt an extramarital affair. Human beings are complicated…

i think the assumption that everyone that signed up on that site cheated is wrong i think you made some assumptions. sometimes people say what they mean but i have no dog in this fight you can both feel like youre right

I mean, I think analyzing the reasons for human behavior rather than simply, or exclusively, qualifying that behavior is a big part of liberal/progressive thought and values—it’s crucial. When someone steals, you don’t just chop of their hands and go about your day, you analyze and address the circumstances which…

fwiw i know your a regular on here but it does seem that you either misunderstood or you’re being obtuse.

Uhm, I would posit that many Americans don’t have the luxury of viable options other than monogamy, or are just completely ignorant to them. Further than that, people change, people, grow and what marriage really is a contract consisting of a bundle of rights and obligations—untangling lives can be fucking messy and…

For what it’s worth I absolutely agree with you—sure, some people are just users and assholes, but for others I think it’s more complex, and I think for most people, what youre talking about is real in some way—whether it’s manifested in the rate at which Americans practice infidelity, or get divorced, or just accept…

Regardless of what Dan Savage thinks, you are completely missing the point here. The point isn’t that the cheating is political in some way, it’s that most people exist within social constructs that have the potential to make it really difficult to be honest with themselves, let alone those around you. Immediately…

It would be so great if people could just be honest. I’ve been with the same man for 14 years, we’ve been married 2. We have been monogamous and we have opened things up, we have an honest open dialog about what we want and need at any given time. Our friends don’t understand because it’s not exactly socially…

No, people are pressured into thinking that they have to be in monogamous relationships. At least in the U.S. Just because you can sleep around and do whatever you want doesn’t mean there aren’t millions upon millions of people ready to heap scorn on you for doing so. Puritanical views are extremely pervasive in our…

I ended up dismissing someone who kept saying I was saying things, I wasn’t. There are a number of people doing that in this thread.

Right. I feel like some people are being willfully obtuse on this one.

That is really disingenuous. Just as there is unwritten pressure to be Christian, love football and other things that are “all American” there is certainly unwritten pressure to be in a committed relationship with ONE person. Polygamy is outlawed and frown upon (for some valid reasons, I might add), polyamory is seen…

Okay. Clearly you are part of the problem.

Right and the anger exists because people are CONSTANTLY pressured into thinking they MUST be monogamous. So much so that they agree to it even when they don’t think they are capable. This is the start - it comes BEFORE the lie.