Friends of mine do this in Minneapolis every year (singing, not acting it) with a great band and every year, Jesus is a woman.

I have wanted this for so long. One of my main goals in life is to write a screenplay of a genderswapped version of the musical. I think it would be fascinating.

I had to stop watching after like 5 minutes during the live broadcast because it looked like the were filming the whole thing on the discarded set of Passions.

That cat is going to get so much play now.

If you don't watch the show, it's probably not a reference you'd pick up. I do watch the show, and it's definitely got something to do with a story line this season.

Ooh, ooh baby. Hot just like a coven: The badass witches of American Horror Story grace the new cover of Entertainment Weekly. Cover story here. Re: Ms. Lange. Need. Those. Gloves.

C'mon. I know this is your schtick, but ONE night? Just once you couldn't bother to put on a pair of black slacks? Not even tux pants, for god's sake. Just something relatively nice.

I dunno what is more concerning. The fact that he things everyone from south of Texas grew up on tacos...or the fact that he is literally asking her how to put ingredients in a taco. I mean, I know his IQ is probably like 65, but...it's a taco. Not a souffle.

Do you know what else bothers me? The motherfucking tongue thing.

"They're my homies."

Uhh

Yeah, pretty much. I have to put sandbags around my lawn on a pretty regular basis thanks to blowjob flooding. It's really a pain.

Not sure what that has to do with anything beyond teaching your child basic hygiene.

I will say this for Kate Middleton - if I had to get dressed in actual human clothes and take my newborn out to a screaming throng of people and reporters merely 24 hours after giving birth, I'd just be crying into a pint of ice cream. Shit, I don't think I even managed pants for the first two weeks. She is a brave…

Oh, good. Fox and Friends needed something to masturbate over this week.

I ran the marathon yesterday, and the crowds were amazing. Some of my favorite signs/spectators: