You're right, it would be impossible. It would be absolutely impossible. There is no feasible way for it to occur, at all, it is the one constant in this universe. In this great age of technology we are living it, this must be permanent, it cannot be changed, altered or affected in the future. You, sir, are the…

There is nothing stopping Microsoft from introducing this stuff once people have already forked over $500 for the console. Once their install base is at 10M or 20M, introducing these features.

The fuck did I do?

Okay, I'll rephrase. Anyone with any basic critical thinking skills, reasoning, and sensibility is against the Xbox One.

Why is he doing PR wearing that ridiculous thing on his head? Why does he not take this seriously? It's a $500 investment. Everyone is against Microsoft right now, and the fact he takes it so lightly, makes me question why he doesn't take our concerns seriously?

Were you born this year or something? Or did you miss 2011? When this game debuted at Spike VGA's in 2011, that's all anyone would say about this game. It wasn't until Beyond Two Souls came around that they redesigned Ellie to look less like Ellen Page. Her name is Ellie though, for christ's sake. She still looks and…

This is fruitless, there's nothing to gain from bickering with belligerent people.

Kotaku does adhere to journalistic standards, as does Deadspin. Both Deadspin and Gawker have their fun, with Craig James, or Rob Ford, but it's about maintaining a degree of professionalism, and clearly I wasn't alone in that sentiment. It's not about following corporate guidelines, I saw on 4chan that they referred…

It'd be the same as referring to the president as Barack Obomba.

I hate the Xbox One, don't get me wrong, I hate it and what it stands for. But at the same time, I feel that there is something incredibly unprofessional for it to be referred to as Xbone here on Kotaku.

No, the definitive Mario Kart sits in my closet inside of my N64. It's a cartridge, it has 8 characters, and it's the best racing game of all-time.

Seems as if Kojima's been watching Kathryn Bigelow's filmography.

aw but how will my baby play it if it's not on wii u?

Not many, I guarantee.

Amazon has it listed with the camera though.

Yeah but he can't play his friend's Xbox One's games on his console. USA! USA! USA!

VGChartz tracks console sales. As of today, PS3 has sold more consoles than Xbox 360. This, given with the fact that the 360 came out 12 months before the PS3, means that the 360 is undoubtedly in third place.

Battlefront was the best-selling Star Wars game up until The Force Unleashed came out. They advertised it on the box. Look it up on VGChartz, they sold 5M copies of Battlefront 1, and 5M copies of Battlefront 2. That's a huge success.

Uppercut? More like an exaggerated tennis serve.