Re The first thing the dad says to me when he sets his 5ish year old down behind me is “Haha, you’re going to get a back massage, he’s a kicker!”

Seriously. Who are these entitled dicks who think their earholes are so precious that they should never be soiled with an unpleasant sound? Grow up, candy pants. The world wasn’t built for your own personal convenience.

Also re: crying - ear plugs exist. I strongly recommend investing in a pair and bringing them with you when you fly because you never know- maybe it’ll be a crying baby OR maybe it’ll be the asshole with the music turned up to “I can hear your music coming from your earphones more clearly than you probably can”.…

I remember when that photo was first posted and the first couple of comments were nice and supportive. I thought the pic was cute and a good idea, but didn’t think much else about it. Then I checked back in later on to read some more comments and my mouth hit the (filthy) floor. Wow, that got out of hand fast!

This.

Seriously, you don’t want to hear a crying child on a plane, wear some sound isolating head phones.
As for the seat kicking. That only annoys me when the parents dont even make an attempt to have their child to not do that. If the parents are trying, there is not much you can do. Children are children. (My last flight…

This is one of the best mic drops I’ve ever read.

You forgot the option where she screams, squirms and wiggles and then spills a drink on the person in the seat next to you.

I’ve yet to fly with my toddler, but my wife has, and she uses the put something entertaining on her tablet, pop some earphones on him, and periodically bribe him with candy method. Worked twice so far, but I know it can go oh so wrong very quickly.

Ha! I actually have a funny story about this.

During the ceremony? No. Neither of us cried. (For the record - MY OWN WEDDING is the only one I have ever attended where I didn’t cry.) I did inform my dad several times before we walked down the aisle that if he cried, it would make me cry, and it would mess up my makeup, and I would never forgive him, so he held…

I cried the entire time. I cried from the second I put my dress on until the end of the night. But I am a crier.

I did not cry. I did, however, start to have one hell of a panic attack once it was time for me to walk down the aisle. As I started to wheeze and get dizzy, my father (who was walking me down the aisle) looked at me and just grinned.

I just asked Mr. Hells if he cried at our wedding, but he says not from happiness... ass.

I’m convinced Jesus is real, because there is no way double sided sticky tape is that powerful. That tape had some footprint on the sand moments where sometimes they were both holding kim’s boobs, and sometimes the tape faltered, and that's when Jesus carried Kim's boobs.

Fuck it. I’ll live with my shame.

I’d guess this is a myostatin-related genetic mutation, like that enormously muscle-bound whippet that was the internet’s favorite LOLWUT a while back.

Ah, yes...and the Bro-ala

Cousin of the swole-aby.