There’s only one correct way to parent, and that’s MY way.

Well yeah, sure, the author should just become a shut-in until her kid turns 18 then I guess.

Crying children irritate me just as much as the next person, but the last time I checked, this is goddamn America, and I recognize your right to be on that plane, same as me. Having a child doesn’t mean you have to stop living your life and limiting where you go because your child might, I dunno, ACT LIKE WE ALL DID…

I went to the national bee in I think 2001, I was 11 and in the sixth grade. And boy, was I out of my depth. I came from a school system that I was able to graduate from with a 4.2 GPA while sleeping through many of my classes, so that should tell you how not tough my competition at my local bees was.

How about proposing at someone’s funeral? Which my aunt’s abusive douchebag boyfriend actually did. At my mom’s funeral.

According to Billboard, the petition has no weight, saying that the rules for eligibility are based on dates of “fans interactions with music” instead of the date the song was released.

Sounds like something my husband would say haha.

Got married in December. Of course I cried during my vows, I’m a crier. Actually, I could barely get them out. I don’t do public speaking to start with, and then to add on top of that the pressure of “the happiest day of my life” and all our families and friends staring at me... I stumbled and stuttered a lot but…

Yeah, trying to sweep the whole thing under the rug just SCREAMS “I’m sorry.”

52 weeks in a year, boo.

I know EXACTLY where you went, I live just a few blocks from there. I’ve seen that “clinic,” but had not idea it was a crisis pregnancy center. For shame. Will be telling everyone I know to stay as far away as possible.

Stop trying to make Rita Ora happen, inTouch. She’s never going to happen.

As much as I hate to admit it, it’s growing on me. If I just plug my ears every time Piggy comes on, then I can learn to love it.

Your cat sounds like a dick.

If YOU can do it, I can do it!

Oh my god can you STOP. I am having a horrible day and there is very little stopping me from going to the store right now and drowning myself in a box of each of those. ;)

Well of course we don’t LET her. I don’t get a sick satisfaction out of cleaning up my cat’s vomit.

Mmm, Swiss rolls...