At some point in history my kids got possession of fake dog shit that looks troubling real. They use it often and it has been an April Fool's staple in the past. This morning I went into the bathroom and saw it on the floor, Ha Ha real original guys. It was only after I'd picked it up with my bare hand I realized…

" If you return a lease car in worse condition then when you got it, be ready to get nickle-and-dimed for every little thing."

After selling them, the Veyron still cost VW Group a few billion dollars. Even Jalopnik reported that the per-car cost works out to over $6M each... despite, you know, selling them for a few million each. Volkswagen Loses A Staggering $6.25 Million On Each ...

"The second law of thermodynamics basically is the more ways something can happen, the more likely it is to happen."

Ha it's all good man. I don't think you are like her. I think she just has a phony outlook on everything. She convinces herself she is "too cool and sophisticated" for most things and then she pretends to like artsy stuff only.

There are undiscovered mountains made of pure diamonds in unexplored galaxies that are not as majestic as that short lazy footballer's beard.

His subtle, calm, old-man jog celebration at the end is really the best: "Can't exert myself too much. I have to play bocce and drink Chianti in the park after this."

Pirlo might not be as good as he used to be, but he's still better than any England midfielder.

Fixed that for you.

he's covered under the stand your ground law.

All I can say is Tim Rattay.

Matt Barnes has to be THE most unlikeable character in the entire history of the NBA.

Most teams take the personality of the coach and best player...and Doc and CP3 whine and bitch after every single call, every goddam night. It's infected the team in a bad way. Cost them in the playoffs last year. They came unglued against OKC late in that series, likely to happen again this year.

You can't spell cLOBbered without LOB (City.)

Tens of thousands of Boston-area men offering her cunnilingus right now.

My daughter died in 2011 when she was five from a malignant brain tumor.

At least Cowherd is going after a white guy for once.

Better?

HERE ARE FOUR REASONS WHY RENTING AN APARTMENT IS A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE IDEA!

Reasons for leasing (as long as you aren't Jalopnik's typical 19 year old commenter)

She is a fan of "real cinema." She is a big Malick fan. While we are watching our silly john hughes comedies she is over here watching Tree of Life for the umpteenth time. We just aren't sophisticated enough to talk to her