Steve Bannon looks like a recent divorcee who shows up to a college bar with no fewer than the three top buttons undone on his shirt, creepily revealing his chest hair whilst calling all the 20-somethings “sweetheart” and eagerly asking if anyone wants to do body shots

This is FAR from my biggest issue with this idiot, but:HOLY GODDAMN SHIT FIX YOUR FUCKING TIE! My grandfather taught me how to properly tie a tie at 13 years old. It isn’t hard.

Why would anybody be so actively anti-Trudeau?

That dunk brought him down a full letter grade in history class.

It me, accepting all the job offers I got after graduating from a MAAC school.

God dammit. Here’s your +1

I lost about 45 pounds and then my girlfriend broke up with me. Would Khloe recommend I lose more weight?

My ex (originally from Mexico) actually has an “Adios Keiko” mug from when he was re-released into the wild (due to his tenure at Six Flags Mexico City). I always thought that was kind of cool.

To his point, I just put “Hustle Hard” by Ace Hood on my workout playlist and I’ve been doing drugs and acting promiscuously since.

It has never been, and never will be, fun to root for the Canadiens. Fuck that whole “holier than thou” franchise and fan base.

This is a very bold, controversial take.

I had to stop after the third of fourth one to prevent my brain leaking out of my ears.

*Goes to accept your embrace*

I’d probably feel much different if I were a Warriors fan, or if LeBron did this against the Raptors, but the lack of a technical was absolutely the correct thing to do (even if it was against the rules). This is why the NBA is fun. James trying to break the rim immediately after breaking the Warriors’ spirits was…

God literally appears to Abraham as a burning shrubbery in the Bible. Calm the fuck down.

I’ve been gotten both “Happy Holidays” and “Merry Christmas” from workers at establishments I patronize.

I might swap Joe and Katy, myself. Solid list overall, though.

I have another (not petty) sports story:

I’ve told this Patrick Kane one before when he was deep in the sexual assault case, but I will tell it again. I was a senior in college, and was out at the sleazy college bars with some friends in late March. This was whatever year Kane had broken his collar bone and was out until the playoffs. So, it’s near the end…

Oh man. My grandpa is dying from lymphoma. I wish the doctors would have just told him to ignore it completely