Christ, what kind of dirt does Simon have on the board of trustees? No reason for her to keep that job at all.

Coldstone.

Rebekahzula Mercer: I can see your whole history in your eyes. You were born with nothing. So you’ve had to struggle and connive and claw your way to power. But true power, the divine right to rule, is something you’re born with. The truth is: they don’t know which one of us is going to be sitting down on that throne,…

I don’t know if this will be reassuring or unsettling, but this sort of horribleness isn’t new. What’s new is that things are coming out into the open and we’re all being forced to acknowledge that these horrible things happen more often than we’d like to think.

So don’t feel hopeless! Just be the best damn uncle you…

Funny that this late and poorly updated article is the first thing posted about soccer today, still nothing on Manchester City-Liverpool which was a great game with great goals and ended the Invincible run of City.

Given that you wrote this just today and it happened yesterday, you could at least have looked up the ref’s name (Tony Chapron) and the player’s name (Diego Carlos)... He’s also already been banned and the player’s second yellow card has been removed.

She’s making a life-altering accusation. “Incredibly detailed story?” Give me a fucking break. Tell me why she should be granted anonymity.

Two problems with this story (or really one combined major problem):

Why didn’t she simply walk out? Why did she blow him? This is clearly a consensual sexual encounter she later regretted. “I didn’t really want to do it, but I did anyway” is not sexual misconduct.

I tell my friends I have a girlfriend, but she lives in Hawaii. Guess I’d better come up with a missile story too.

Clapton is ok. But he is highly overrated. Prince was GOAT, but severely underrated to the point that it was almost insulting. But check out this video if you haven’t already of this prince solo he did with Tom Petty at the Rock and Roll hall of fame. The story is Prince was insulted that he wasn’t included on the…

Not wanting it to go to waste, I did a quarter ounce of cocaine, fucked my wife’s sister like I’ve always wanted to, called my boss and called him an old bald cocksucker, then burned my house down for fun.

Jesus. Haven’r they heard of the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf? Now if an 8 kiloton nuclear missle is heading towards them for real, people won’t even bother to hide under their desk like we were trained to do.

Exactly. He goes and fucks up Pulisic too, and he goes straight to the top of the Armenian-American soccer fan shit-list. Please believe the eight of us can make your life miserable.