Dear random internet person,

They're a Danish company, why should they be more obligated to provide education in our politics than their own?

Maybe, but they're a Danish company and the machinery of US government doesn't really move units internationally.

Danish, but I get your point.

Doesn't everybody?

I don't want to live in a world where someone can make money running a program like this.

Yeah, that's really what I want, a movie version of an anime populated with and beloved largely by antisocial psychotics. Sooooo much better than Pacific Rim.

I'm generally a neat or on the rocks kind of person, depending on how I'm feeling at the time, but I tend toward the school of thought that what you're drinking matters more than whether or it has some spring water or ice cube melt or no water at all added. I'd start with some of the cheaper varieties of bourbon,…

Are we talking about religious faith or being a fan of baseball?

It is catastrophically underrated.

Honestly, I think that the "Swiss Army Knife" is a grand misdirection from the Swiss. It's the first stage of their defense plan. People look at that knife and think "Man, the Swiss are so terrible, and their army so unimpressive, it's not even worth invading." If you see through the ruse, they hole up in their…

If it didn't, I'm starting one, because anyone who likes clowns cannot in any way be trusted. The only proper response to a clown is fear. Just like arachnids and snakes, the human mind is designed to be scared of them, and for a very good evolutionary reason. Natural selection will bear me out. A thousand years…

Pshaw. I'm paying extra for the model that disintegrates shit that attempts to pass through it. That'll be the last time some pathetic motherfucker who just has to let everyone know that this sidewalk is his and we're just walking on it shoulder checks me out of the way for no goddamn reason. I get it, you're…

Any comment on whether or not the rest of Ariana Grande supports the suit?

Are we "taking back" the term Vodka Mom? Because there's a movement I can support. I could never be known as one, but I feel like it's my civic duty to ensure the term isn't used for evil.

I was worried this would get old, but it really hasn't.

Jetstream Sam!

I support the integrity of the Union, so I'm not really in support of any kind of secession, and god knows enough people died last time the South committed treason en masse in support of treating people like shit, but I would kill for another shot at Reconstruction. None of that backroom deal shit, just federal…

I'm sorry, but I cannot accept or forgive a soup list that so drastically underrates pumpkin and squash soup. If there is a hell, may you burn there eternally in a cauldron of hot Borscht, which is actually really great, especially with a dollop of sour cream added.

I'm sorry, but boats I just don't buy. All the good Christians I know see them as an affront to Jesus, as he is the only being that should move atop the waves without care. No God-fearing man would challenge His Son's majesty with such presumption. The boat is the Babel of our time, soon they will all be…