Was there some sort of dare among the AV Club writers to work the phrase
"sitting shiva" in as much as possible?

If its really all performance, I'd say his level of dedication really trumps Shia's though.

Safe to assume that he has a shit-ton of debt/unpaid loans as well.

How rich is he really, though?
If the majority of his money comes from loans that he defaults on, he goes into bankruptcy at least once a decade, and he inflates his so called "net worth" by many billions, he is actually rich?
I would be curious to know how much money he really has, that doesn't come from investors,…

Oh no, I've lost my penis pump!

You've gotta give it to Trump - he really knows how to keep his name in the media.
He's like the Shia LaBeouf of racist, arrogant billionaire dirtbags.

People can call Shia LaBeouf a talentless, douchey hack - and he is - but its hard to deny that he is incredibly savvy.
After all, he has managed to stay relevant for years now, despite appearing in very films anymore. It seems like the internet can't go 2-3 weeks without some new, stupid story about how massive of a…

Cancer? Is it Cancer?

Well, getting on comment boards and shitting on other people is a tremendous waste of time.
If going on comment boards and shitting on other people for no reason was a competitive sport, you could definitely do well in it. You should look into that.

I'm going to beat Dark Souls 2 blindfolded, drunk … *and* only hitting the buttons with my erection! Which will be pretty tough, since I'll be drunk.

Legal Same-sex marriage and sugary drinks in NYC restaurants over 16 oz in size??!! Huzzah!

I saw that boob in the onion video. It was such a pleasant surprise, like finding a long lost $20 in a jacket pocket.

Mary Louise Parker is so smoking hot. Makes me green with envy.

Damn, Mello Yello. Peyton got you with one sick burn.

You just missed out on the time of your life!

Thats just plain rude. Well now, I'm never going to a jerk off session with you..

I don't know, man. If it's a post-apocalypse world, and the internet is no longer working, and all I have is a working old CRT tv, a vcr and a copy of Sister Act…
It would get me where I need to go.

You get to tug it to a celebrity!

Years ago, I was in a band that was performing for the Highlandtown Wine Festival in Baltimore. Highlandtown in a neighborhood in East Bmore that has a lot of really great qualities, but being one of the historically white areas in Baltimore, it has a strong history of prejudice (compounded by the fact that there is a…

Heroes Reborn from the stomach of a murdered horse