“OMG He supports something remotely achievable like a public option, he is essentially a mix between Trump and Hitler”

It would be much better if he just promised a bunch of crap that will never pass senate in 100 years, because the splinter child bloggers know thats how governance really works.

Servais-y reminder: If you are ever in Japan to see Ichiro play, be sure to see a baseball game tomorrow.

All Beto seems to be certain about is that he was a punk, he likes to stand on counters, and would probably enjoy being President.

What an absolute fucking cop out.

Paul Blest is my go-to for what is and is not punk, and all the associated acceptable behaviors that go with. 

“...the English may be wankers, but we were colonized by wankers!”

Part of me thinks the author just wanted to plug his own punk creds. But I’m trying to be less cynical—by like, at least 3%.

Can Splinter cut it out with the lame hit pieces please?

They are when it’s 2 am on your way to the bathroom and you step on a lego. That much I know.

Hey Deadspin staff, you guys really need to ungray some of us soccer commentators.

*EuropeanFootball.

This cannot be repeated enough. The team’s captain got himself suspended on purpose for this leg because he thought it was well in hand (and then talked himself into an extra game suspension because he’s an idiot). The broadcast cut to his stupid face a couple times. It was wonderful.

3 losses in less than a week at the Bernabeu

“DO YOUR HAND JOB”

Looks like the Ravens were able to make a potential quarterback controversy vanish into thin air.

It’s kind of miraculous that he shot it at the right basket.

Did someone say Chuck E Cheese

Exceptional username, dude. 

I mean, it's not fair to play defense until you let the opposing player catch the ball!