They could just call it really aggressively until teams learn to knock it off. I’m pretty sure eventually every QB would fucking riot if they had to start off at 1st and 80. 

It’s because the offense already gets so many free bullshit OPI penalties. It’s ridiculous to somehow make things even easier for an offense that already gets away with breaking the rules, especially since they can get a free 15 yards at any time by dramatically grabbing at their jersey. 

I was thinking the Packers for Kielbasa

The vastly oversimplified version of this is “wing push air down, equal and opposite reaction push plane up, plus pressure differential”

I am somehow not particularly surprised that you have had an ulcer

The simple explanation of flight: wings push air moving over them downwards. Since every action has an equal and opposite reaction, the wings pushing air down means the plane gets pushed up. This is why planes have to go fast to get airborne; you have to be pushing a lot of air down to get a heavy plane to go up.

Air…

This is why extra points from the 2 yard line were converted much less frequently than FGs from 30-35 lines. *listens to earpiece* Well never mind then. 

Primanti Bros is shit. NO ONE DENIES THIS.

That’s: “if fucking Al fucking Swearengen and fucking Jaromir motherfucking cocksucker Jagr had a fucking kid” 

If you were going to nominate any episode in season 8 for writing, it should have been A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms. It was miles better than any of the other episodes. 

Does “A player catches a pass in the opponent’s endzone” refer to the player, or the ball?

If he’s in the endzone when he catches it, it’s a touchdown, so it depends on whether the first knee to hit was in the endzone or not.

I think everyone wanted Michigan to be good again, so they gave them high ranks in polls. I knew they were going to suck, but I didn’t expect them to suck this bad.

Why would you say something like this. This is unnecessarily rude to your readers. Nobody needs to be reminded when the Cardinals are playing well. 

Kicking it out of bounds gives it to them at the 40 so they saved about 4 yards, and you’re not always guaranteed to get it out of the end zone. If it only goes 9 yards deep, they’re definitely going to take it out of the end zone which costs you another 50 seconds, since you would also lose the 2 minute warning…

I don’t know what the wind was like, but if it was strong enough to make it questionable whether it would get out of the back zone in the air, it seems reasonable. If it only goes 9 yards deep, they’re definitely returning it just to waste more time. 

The Giants still somehow managed to win this game. Jesus, the Bucs are awful. 

It’d be interesting to see where he’d be in his development as a passer if Baltimore hadn’t wasted so much fucking time trying to turn him into a receiver. He made good, pro-level reads at Louisville. It wasn’t just his legs he was making plays with. 

It’s pretty difficult to hit 88 mph with a woodgas vehicle, especially if you’d have to do it on roads explicitly not designed with cars in mind. You’d probably want something reliable with offroad capability that was converted to run on alcohol or cooking oil, since those things have been around for a very long time. 

IIRC missing by 5.23 inches is among the shittiest calls of the year.