Don’t we all

You may not know it yet, but deep down inside, you want to kill people and taunt the police with clues.

Interns will be compensated with a daily stipend of Fancy Feast and belly rubs

they should send me his resume I could use an intern for interny things like chasing feathers on sticks and snuggles

Leave me alone, mom! It’s so early. I don’t WANNA go to school.

World Domination “Economics”.

You assume that our international organization hasn’t already infiltrated schools around the globe? Which is a correct assumption, we totally haven’t done anything like that at all.

If Bubba is going to American high schools to figure out nuclear secrets, you guys are further away from fusion than Iran. Try Germany, but just watch out for those shepherds.

When Bubba graduates do you think I could hire him as my assistant? There's lots of stuff of my desk for him to knock over

Christ. Get that cat away from sociopathic teenagers before something awful happens...

I vividly remember watching a music video where a woman walks into a Snoop Dog party disgusted by how gross everything is and being put off by the dudes hitting on her, so they attacked her and humiliated her. I turned to my older cousins and asked why they did that. Their response: “That’s what stuck-up bitches get.”…

As per the director, the “origin” of “Bye Felicia” as depicted in the film is entirely fictitious and that scene, one in which a woman is sexually humiliated, is intended to be comic relief. Nothing in the world could make me go see this garbage.

I was at a bar not-watching this, but that was the exact moment I put down my phone and paid attention.

“ I’m not saying I’m the Taylor Swift of boxing, but I’m not not saying I’m the Taylor Swift of boxing”

Worst part for me? Thor and Stark arguing over who’s offscreen love interest was better.

Has anyone seen a black lady with an onscreen speaking part in a Marvel movie?

Technically, Thanos had the Tesseract. But like the Comcast / Time Warner merger, nothing is a sure thing until it is in hand. Screwing with the Avengers is like screwing with the Justice Dept or the IRS. Just don’t go there unless you want to fight of your life.

"You win THIS round, Cannizzaro." — Manish Mehta

Manish Mehta and the NYDailynews creating non-troversies had made it nearly impossible to be topped by another beat writer...congrats Canizzarro on topping Mehta. Seriously, what a clown. Joke