DAY BIDET. YOU AMATEURS ARE MANGLING MY ACT

*sues ElDan for joke theft*

These people are SO OLD that JESUS FUCKING CHRIST was their camp counselor!!!!!!!!

I'M SO OLD THAT I REMEMBER WHEN THE SONG WAS CALLED "WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE (BECAUSE IT HASN'T BEEN INVENTED YET)", AND I ONCE SAW MUMFORD SOLO BEFORE HIS WIFE REACHED FULL TERM.

I'M SO OLD THAT MY CELEBRITY NUDE PHOTO LEAK WAS WHEN SOME ARCHAEOLOGISTS DUG UP A CARBON IMPRINT OF MY PENIS!!!!!!!!

I'M SO OLD I HAVE A SOCIAL SECURITY ROCK!!!!!! BECAUSE IT WAS THE STONE AGE!!!!!!!! AND I SHARED MY FIRST NAME WITH A GUY NAMED "AL"…. ALLOSAURUS!!!!!

I'm so old, I was in a band with Dr. Dre back when he was still pre-med. We were called "Neandathalz With Alzheimers", and our first record was mastered by LUCY!!!!

I'm so old that I used to heckle bands by telling them to play "Free ARCHAEOPTERYX"! Of course, they weren't really "bands" so much as a couple guys banging rocks together!