Somebody needs to be taken Outback and shot.

Joe Johnson, Dwyane Wade and Derrick Rose? The 2011 NBA trade deadline is nuts!

That would be a perfectly acceptable statement if the system wasn’t set up so young productive players also do not get paid. The “what can you do for me now” attitude should apply both ways.

Yeah! Fuck ‘em. Our sainted billionaires NEED to protect themselves from those dangerous players!

That’s the sort of shitty rumor that’s always thrown around about women who have acheived a little power. She must have fucked her way there, huh? I despise Hope Hicks, but I’m a little surprised that someone who spends time on Jezebel would stoop so low.

She really dropped the ball by not yelling out “Later Gator!” as she walked off.

he’ll soon find out that college life’s gainesville outweigh the loss of his mother.

Clearly McDaniels just loves fucking over horse-based franchises.

Alright — the Lions beat someone! We successfully hired an accomplished Pats assistant and the pill poppin’ Colts couldn’t!

OK, so the one we hired gave up over 500 yards in his last game, but at least he wanted to come to the Midwest and take the job.

I’ll just throw this out there: Jim Tomsula is tan, rested, ready, and needs to know by tomorrow so he can give his two weeks’ at the 7-11.

“OK Josh, here are Andrew’s MRIs....”

Yes, Adam Vinatieri scored all the points himself! He’s the best! Just shut the fuck up and go play with the fingerpaints

I am fairly certain he had started drinking when he mentioned that Patricia was going to be the head coach of the Pistons.

I’m just happy the over hit early enough so Al Michaels could sip Mai Tai’s and enjoy one hell of a fourth quarter.

that’s a bassoon you philistine

That kid is so stupid. With today’s exchange rates, a Big Baller hoodie would get you six cartons of cigarettes in Lithuania.

I was going to wonder why TB12 did not look sweaty there, then I remembered that dogs sweat primarily through their paws.

Yup. I’m looking at it. The front of Cook’s facemask makes contact with the side and back of Jenkin’s helmet. If Jenkins had wanted to decapitate him he could’ve put the crown of his helmet directly into Cook’s earhole. Instead Jenkins moves his head out of the way so that he can deliver a blow with his shoulder to…

2 QBs and a cup is much better than the alternative version.