Cotton boyshorts forever. I can't take two steps in a thong without needing to pry it out of my asscrack.

Thongs are really, really, ridiculously uncomfortable on my body, and I'm not fussy - I can be reasonably comfortable wearing a corset or dancing in pointe shoes. It takes a lot to make me uncomfortable, and a screaming perma-wedgie will do it.

I lol'ed at "deep, thong-hungry vortex."

See, I'm equally fascinated by your opinion! Thongs make me so uncomfortable that I become irrationally angry/tearful by the end of the day.