/has Brazil drop a briefcase full of Euro-denominated bearer bonds on Madagascar's desk

"Are you currently falling forever through space? No? Then the ground is doing its job."

You misunderstand, Tom. He took the first shower after the game, and the second after he fell in those tar pits.

"Because of a cramp? Are you shitting me?"

Jordan would have EASILY fixed the A/C with no hand checking allowed.

People need to stop with this whole mental illness thing. Do you not believe that people can just be bad? Anytime somebody kills someone they must be mentally ill, huh. It's hurting the image of people who are legitimately mentally ill.

So glad they're trying those girls as adults. They knew damn well what they were doing, it was premeditated, they had EVERYTHING planned in regards to where to take the girl, before, during and after the stabbing. They need to be checked mentally(they're crazy,k? done.) but I wish vengeful wrath on anyone who tries to…

The NCAA planned on promoting the upcoming season with "I need a dollar" but thought better of it.

I dont care what these guys get paid..Ill just click on the story, read it, log in and then reply that I dont care...because I dont care.. and I want everyone to know I dont care..because I dont care...I dont really care if you guys think I dont care..because you guessed it..I dont care

Makes sense. You'd have to be pretty fucking stupid to put so much on one arm and put it down in ink.

She kinda looks like Donald Sterling.

Honda is central to Japan's success.

How relevant I am right now.

Thanks, I had no idea. It's reassuring to hear that you deal with this sort of thing all the time.

Look, I'm all about safety first. Don't get me wrong. I'm just saying, wouldn't you call a fire code that prohibits even one match in the whole stadium over the top????

So he was good enough that he should've been noticed, but wasn't noticed until he was a dick.

Did Deadspin watch the slow motion version or something? That's a normal pause.

Deadspin: where a two-second pause is turned into pageview bait. What is this, Barstool?

If you watched the presser he paused like that before answering every question. But hey why not turn everything into a story. Context Schmontext

you are wrong.