I fucking HATE Monster High. My 9 year old daughter went through a 3-4 year love affair with these awful, overly-expensive, cheaply made, disgustingly vapid/shallow toys (based on the endless cartoons and movies I had to watch too) and would often force me to "play" Monster High with her, which consisted of being the…

Weird Al

the CIRCLE was an enjoyable read. Give it a shot- it hooked me within the first 20, 30 pages, so if not, you'll quit it early.

Ha, you KNOW I'm joking. And believe me, I am the last guy in the world to ever take umbrage w/ a worker at a corporate or really any establishment. I despise the people who get mad at cashiers because lines are long, or whatever. In this case, the clerk was the owner of the store- I believe- and at the very least,…

and even worse is if you buy an iced coffee somewhere, they charge you something like 3-6 dollars for a cup of coffee- with ice added- and leave 1/3rd of the cup empty. You know, for "milk".
I got into such an argument at the local bagel place last month- the cup of coffee is $1.75 and the same sized iced is $4.50. For…

dude, what the hell is wrong w/ this country? The fact that people can actually sue a deli for the size of sandwiches- and win- is…just…I mean, today on NPR they said BECKS BEER settled on a lawsuit because people sued over the "misrepresentation" that Becks is brewed in Germany when its actually brewed in St. Louis,…

ah, 7th grade. A time to remember (while holding a gun to your head, tears streaking your face, wondering if thats when it all began to go wrong). :)

You can buy a home there for 500 bucks. Like, a 6 bedroom on property w/ 100-year old historical value. Most are SERIOUS fixer-uppers, though, and require at least 25-50k worth of work on them, but shit. This city still has a chance, and truly is a glorious place, but it needs a lot of work. Le Duff's book is…

I think the illustrations were what really sold me on this. Usually the who subverted-humor-trope when things are joked about that are very abstract adn not funny in principle thing does not work for me. This one?
It worked. Oddly, it worked well for me. I laughed out loud at "sexy witch Ralph macchio".

best. Rock n roll song. EVER.

Two words: NASH BRIDGES (motherfucker). He made a truckload of cash from that sweet, sweet syndication money. I don't think he needed to get back w/ Tommy- I think it was a business move.

NOT GREAT, BOB!

yeah, one of them jumped off a 30th floor balcony during that experiment. BAAAAAAD TRIP, MAN.

its crazy to think that since 2008 the spiel on the right has been "We need to be MORE inclusive and open to young people, Hispanics, women, and the lower-class" and then they do TRUMP SAYS FUCK YOU TO ALL THE IMMIGRANTS, CHICKS, SPICS, AND KIDS instead. Way to cement the Republican Party legacy in cement and toss it…

A. Our "founding fathers" weren't high on this shit. They didn't smoke weed. They grew hemp. If you don't know the difference in that…we've got bigger issues to address.
B. "Gateway drug" is still extremely relevant, as the majority of people who begin using pot before age 16 (and I mean majority- like, a huge…

Hey, Chris Prit, you know Tommy's not actually here, right? Like, he's not able to reply to your telling him to go back to Canada.
Also, if the message is "Republicans are not ALL bad racists because one or two of them said Trump was bad for what he said (the Latino one, and the one married to a Latino)" your party is…

yes, you're kind of dumb. Just kind-of. You aren't truly stupid because you eventually realized it, unlike some people who probably still laugh and are like, "Yeah, right, glass, big deal. Pussies."

no, i believe they were the humorous rap duo known primarily for COMBINATION PIZZA HUT AND TACO BELL. Silly Mariachi.

I think I'm going to need to add this to the Via family Christmas routine this year. One of my fondest memories was when I was 10 years old or so, and my dad and mom had been fighting up something fierce, and my pops said to me (quietly while mom screamed from the next room) "want to go see a movie"? We had no idea…

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