I’m sorry to report you understand incorrectly. Please take a moment to read up further: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earwax You’ll notice the “ingredients” are the same between the two varieties, but they have different composition.

As an adult you are welcome to make whatever poor health decisions you so deem fit. Damn doctors or entire medical fields with cited studies/guidelines backing them up, as seen in the above article. To answer your questions:

Hey, you’re the one who made gross generalizations. I’m just pointing out why they don’t hold up.

Smoking? Dietary habits that promote obesity? Cool alternate study.

Yes.... yes it can. And it can impact the softer wax behind it. Because your ears don’t produce solid chunks of wax the size of almonds. It starts soft.

And yet it’s still not a good idea, and completely unnecessary, and not fully effective. Great, you created a vacuum. In a closed space. Put a piece of cereal in an empty plastic bottle and suck air out of it while keeping it outright. Create a vacuum. See if you get the cereal piece out.

No one has an issue with doing bad things for their health until they do. And as you can see, there are multiple people here with perforated ear drums from similar stories just like yours.

You don’t need to. What do you think human beings did before the Q-tip was invented in the 20th century? Barring pathology, you don’t need help managing your urine, stool, spit, semen, tears, and snot. What would make you think you need something to help with this?

There are different methods. Water jets and ear curettes under direct visualization are acceptable.

If doctors wanted money, we’d tell you to put more things in your ear. As the article says, Q-tip use causes cerumen impaction, and can cause ear drum perforation.