I just remembered the one Thanksgiving when my mom returned the cooked turkey to the store. She was pissed off that it turned out really dry. She hauled the whole 20lb roasted turkey in the roasting pan back to the grocery store, puts it on the customer service counter, and says she wants to return the bird because…

My cousin’s husband, who used to be great, but who last christmas scooted progressively closer to me during dinner and during our family picture grabbed me by the hips from behind and pulled me up against him 

It’s a carabiner, so YES. 

Let’s see...

Mom is one of eight.

Let’s see, is it the step-uncle who sexually harassed me at Christmas a couple years back? Is it my beloved grandpa that was “just” a “normal” Republican before Trump but is now thanking Jesus during every dinner prayer for President Trump? Is it my step-aunt who thinks that getting fact-check clouds slapped on her…

I have managed to avoid relatives ever since I left my husband in December 2014 and move into a small apartment. None of my family lives in the same state as I do, and I can legitamtely plead poverty as I only have disability to pay my bills. (Got a smallish lump sum at divorce to get it done before he ruined my…

And I’m popping in here just to say, I hate when relatives complaining about “not hearing from you the rest of the year” because the phone works both ways, man.

This response pushed my buttons, so I rewrote it.

The best answer to that question is “a donation to XXX charity”. 

Bingo! Panettone is lovely if it’s home made and not stale. But stale or store-bought pannettone makes a lovely bread pudding or a really really good French toast.

My fiancee sent me a picture of my 7 year-old daughter watching the Vice President-elect speak (I’m stuck at work). All of the feels in the universe.

I did end up crying during both of their speeches.

Me too me too me too! I did not expect to tear up, but I was bawling.  And I had this strange emotion that has been missing for the last 4 years.....pride in our country!

Can’t help but think that pussycat bow blouse was intentional, too.

I did not anticipate watching her take the stage meaning so much to me. Then I was crying. An actual fucking woman was making her VP victory speech. My DIL texted me that she was doing the same. This is the kind of me too we deserve. May there be many more.

With how rough 2020 has been... what a time to be alive. 

I’m in Minnesota and the other day I was softening the butter we keep on our counter on a knife blade over the stove burner like it was hash, so I’m feeling pretty comfortable about leaving it out.