After filming it, I seem to recall him tweeting that during the filming he got drunk off his ass basically. I think he’s just so damn eloquent and he knows this story forwards, backwards and sideways that he didn’t mess up the storytelling, but the stuff they showed of him between the story shots showed him acting…

I’m pretty sure the common thread here is marijuana. The employees got freaked out by a customer and hid in the back: high. Dude goes to CVS in the middle of the night looking for cheese and spends 45 minutes wandering around the store: high.

Didn’t Alex Jones say sliced cheese was an ISIS code phrase?

This doesn’t make up for the rest of the year, 2016. Go fuck yourself.

Because that is what we do now. We can’t let people do anything good in this world without sifting through their past to find a reason to vilify them.

I believe Ted Cruz’s wife spends most of the year back home in Alpha Centauri but he’s not president so it’s ok with me.

Nah, Trump would delude himself into believing people were saying something else.

I made this in honor of Trumpence’s hurt feefees.

youre thirty-great.

Don’t know whether to be impressed or appalled that Trump managed to cram as many lies as he did into two tweets. I expect to feel this way frequently.

It really makes you appreciate the situation we’re in when you’re actually hoping for Mitt Romney.

I want honest, unrestrained, maybe not that sober Barack.. Is that too much to ask?

Yes! My gyno, who had refused to give me an IUD, told me I was “high risk” for STI’s because I was not in a monogamous relationship. Mind you, I use condoms 100% of the time and get tested regularly. It was very judgmental. Especially considering those in monogamous commitments who don’t use condoms still have to…

I would be super-upset about this, but I don’t think I have another 160 years in me.

Send me his address. I got some post-election rage I need to work out World Star style. Nothing really bad, just a backhand or 2.

Brb, gonna go buy my 4 year old goddaughter a “girls rule, boys drool” t-shirt for her birthday, can’t start too early on implementing the male castration agenda. Cheer up guys, we’re only 160 years away from getting equal pay, perfecting asexual reproduction, and throwing all men into space.

It’s like Stan Van Gundy said, I might have very different political views with these past candidates, but I respected them as good and honorable men. This whole election has given me that perspective. It really makes me appreciate some of our past republican candidates. Casting them in a new light in my mind, I may…

But all of trump’s fingers are pinky fingers.

Dear God, please let there be gay porn in his emails. Gay porn he stars in.

Please, please, please, let the Trump-Pence administration’s first full scale scandal... be the contents of leaked emails.