i don’t even understand the hype for that video. what is special about that video? a flip phone was the standout. what does that say?

Neighbors, acquaintances, and the like, I can say “I disagree” to, and walk away. Relatives, I can’t give up trying to reason with. I guess I will die, fighting and crescent roll-less.

If you have ever worn revealing clothing or shaken your ass in public you are a SHILL of the PATRIARCHY.

He has a lot of great ideas

Since I am finally ungreyed on The Slot I have been nervous to comment. It’s too much pressure. So I’m resorting to gifs. Also congrats on getting outta the greys!

Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

listen, let’s not let the wacko conspiracy theories overshadow Hillary’s actual health problems. i have extensive experience in this area and there is literally no issue more debilitating than seasonal allergies. what if her hands are covered in mucus and she hits the “bomb the earth” button by accident? what if she’s…

In my experience, getting a guy to fuck is the easy part.

“It’s OK, he wasn’t mocking that journalist, he was mocking *all* disabled people! Stop being so sensitive!”

Ditto. Turns my bed into a fart pod.

An Incomplete List Of Things That Will Make Me, A Guy, Want To Fuck:

I dunno. Some guys, like me, might be confused about what you mean. I recommend sending them an engraved invitation that reads, “Dear [potential sexual partner’s name here], you are cordially invited to engage in sexual intercourse at [venue] on [date and time].

This recipe is just a normal pasta recipe

Pasta Pussy Posse

why were you hard in the first place?

i wasn’t talking to you

A pretty good way to get a dude to fuck u is to be like “Yo dude, you wanna fuck or what?”

I’ve always said that if someone wants to be bad, they should be good at being bad. Go all in on evil.

Which is why my company is called “Technical Not False Co. LLC.”

That was exactly the image I had in my head before I read the article. Now I discover that not only is the Engagement Chicken not coming to visit me with a little blue box, I have to cook the damn Engagement Chicken myself. Fuck you, Engagement Chicken. You are plain old Disappointment Chicken to me.