White sauce and other options are generally only available at more upscale restaurants

See, I’ll be honest: I don’t like cod. I don’t hate it or refuse to eat it or anything, but it’s bland as hell and falls apart when you look in its general direction. I know cod is standard in fish and chips, but the few times I’ve had it with something else (most frequently when the restaurant ran out of cod and…

Because your kid isn’t the fucking devil?

He’ll do it if you watch a cursed video tape and then wait seven days.

My wife once told me an amusing tale of her trip to Arkaksas (we live in Texas :() where she wanted to order queso, and was thrown off by the menu item (at a Mexican restaurant, I might add) of “Cheese Sauce.” It was made from Mozzarella Cheese.

That’s... actually a really good explanation, that I didn’t even think of. There was a really good Tex-Mex joint in Houston that used white cheddar, and it usually had strips of the peppers in it. It was so good.

The resturant he worked at probably used a white cheese and he just assumed it was mozz since all white cheese is apparently the same thing.

I’m sorry but my brain is now broken at the idea of chips and queso being made with mozzerella chesse.

Like the gluten free labels on meat.

I hate when I get snow in my crotch at the beach, too.

IK,R? I never would’ve spotted that, & I’m generally extremely good at figuring out weird client delusions.

He might be there all the time, but that doesn’t make him a regular. You have to do shit like interact with the staff and know their names to do that. There used to be a Cosi near my office and I used to chat with the staff about the books we were all reading and how their families are and stuff. I don’t remember…

I have it on very good authority from Strawberry Shortcake that Blueberry Muffin’s vagina* does, in fact, taste like blueberry.

I just know that at some point before I die I'm going to see a package of hamburger with a warning label "Contains meat." and it's going to be because of one of these idiots.