Someone on twitter called them the Frankenstein Project - a group of mad scientists that created the monster now rampaging throughout the countryside, who have picked up torches alongside the townsfolk to destroy their own creation.

Had a friend in a foreign language class that I knew was struggling with it. While everyone was quiet and busy doing classwork, I saw her not really knowing what was going on. I walked up and asked if she needed help. I think she might have been embarrassed that people could tell she was lost because she screamed in a…

Aghhhhhhh! That made me cringe so hard! I hope they were good sports about it. I once accidentally texted the word “cum” to a doctor I worked with. I was using talk to text to let him know that I would be able to come by to get his signature on something. I have no idea why that word automatically popped up instead bec…

Never ask someone if they are pregnant. Never assume someone’s spouse is their child. Especially if the someone is female and the spouse is male.

When I was in college, I found myself at a fancy event, talking to someone important. She was in a wheelchair, and when she turned around, my leg got trapped between some pointy bits on her chair and a marble column. I handled that part like a total grown-up. Did not make a fuss, instead politely explained the…

I had nerves before a semi-blind date with a younger guy. Date ends up going great. I bring him back to my apartment to smoke weed and listen to music. In search of a song on Spotify, he moves my mouse to wake up my computer. Before him is the google search results I left up before leaving: “First date tips”. All…

I posted a picture of myself as a toddler in a clown suit with an evil bunny on Jezebel.

I took an online class a while back when all this tech was somewhat novel. We had a guest speaker who is a big name and a total quack, and I had been *privately* trash talking her with another student. Little did I know when you close and reopen the chat it defaults to everyone, so I fired off “oh god this woman is…

I’ll just go with the most recent one. I was in a big zoom meeting and I forgot about the mute button.

👆🏻

I shit my pants while on a date.

Decided, rather than skip a turn, to spell out the word “CUM” whilst playing Scrabble with my boyfriend and his rather middle class parents. He still doesn’t like talking about it.

I used to sing in a choir in Manhattan. We had rehearsal on a weeknight that lasted from 8-10 pm — and I had a long commute home and it was always rough to be at work early the following morning. During the mid-rehearsal break I decided to sneak out the building’s back door, which turned out to be a fire escape going…

About 20 years ago, my sister was getting married and my Mom organized a shower. Mom got it into her head that one of the brothers should be there as a nice family gesture. She first asked my brother if he wanted to go and he said “Absolutely not”. So Mom told me I was going. I tried to protest how unfair it was that…

Holy shit. I believe 9th grade was the time of boners every 15 minutes. Speedo. Hmmmmmm not a great idea I’m guessing.

Mash-up from last week’s halloween contest and this week’s mortification contest:

9th grade, went dressed as Michael Phelps to school in a speedo, didn’t make it through first period before they called my mom to come pick me up.

This isn't a fun game for an addict. passsss

All I’ll say is don’t fuck with the recommendation to take stool softeners if you’re taking pain meds for wisdom teeth removal. Four days of not pooping had me locked in my company bathroom 20 minutes before shift, spearing a softball-sized rock with an enema frantically purchased from the CVS before getting on the…

Literally last night, my wife has a story to add. She requested I not use her name.