I get being upset if it’s the team that’s up by 11 that tries the shot but to get your panties in a twist just because the losing team tries to make the score a little more respectable? Fuck off.

The fetish your staff has for Potbelly is the most concerning thing here.

Bridezilla will take my beard off my cold dead face. you can tell your groomsmen / maids what to wear but you ask them to trim, not get rid of, a defining facial feature.

My best friend of 15 years is getting married next month. I’m the best man. His wife informed him that all members of the wedding party need to be clean shaven for the ceremony, no excuses.

Gronk: “What’s wrong with it?”

Oh god, I remember Rookie Of The Year. What a shit movie. And yet it’s so deliciously 90s. Poor John Candy, he deserved better than to be in this pile of dung. IIRC the movie ends with him losing his magic arm powers and having to resort to bullshit trickery to win the World Series. Why didn’t the manager just pull…

he can’t read yet

Found it

The good thing is they aren’t stuck with this failing business model for an entire season, they can choose a new one everyday!

How a company that offers best feelings ever go under?

Well folks, it finally happened. The NRA warned us all but I didn’t believe them. Last night as I was watching the debate there was a knock on my door. This startled me since I didn’t buzz anyone up. Maybe it was a neighbor who needed something? I ask who is it as I check the peephole and it was President Obama! At…

My wife took me to Texas de Brazil for my birthday one year and expected sex afterwards. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, LADY.

Guy hitting .205 in High-A ball is worried about the wrong Mendoza.

Jokes on you Josh Pauls! Coach Tortorella would have benched you for not standing for the National Anthem.

Eh, I'm sure when the big moment comes the Seahawks will probably pass.

Nailed it.

Crap, my milkshake was out there. I hope the boys are okay.

Hello, I am Nigerian Director of Basketball Scouting. We have 7 foot center who averages 8 blocks a game and shoots 45% from 3 pt range. Please send us your Milwaukee Bucks roster and bank account numbers to verify compatibility of financial systems.

Possibly the most offensive article that Jezebel has ever published.