Gee an American man who seeks a foreign internet bride is a sex offender??? Color me shocked and surprised!

As a majority of birth control in this country is paid for by health insurance companies whose premiums are paid by the woman receiving said birth control (either directly or as compensation for her/her spouse's labor), I'm pretty sure that means most of this country wants you to STFU. The remainder wish they had…

Today, especially, has been the incorrect day for me to read this article. So please excuse the rant I'm about to go on.

Am I the only one who gets confused between Rand Paul, Paul Ryan, and Ayn Rand? They are all one and the same to me.

Yeah I think that's part of the problem. He lets out steam on the net because he can't release IRL. I don't care what people say, but couples who don't fight are suspicious as hell.

They don't like *uninvited* sexually suggestive pics of genitalia. As I understand it, it's not our dicks that are the problem, but our general lack of tact and inability to grasp nuance.

Repressive fundamentalism in any religion is so awful.

I would like to play Cards Against Humanity with Dr. S. He sees like a fun dude. Can he visit Jezebel more often?

"You should be wary of any place where... body fluids are being thrown about." I think I'll follow this advice even when there *isn't* a potential Ebola outbreak.

Obviously it's a good thing this guy is behind bars, but I'm starting to get uncomfortable with our culture's attitude toward privacy. We're trading privacy for convenience more every day. We say, "Hey, I have nothing to hide, why should I care?" And I do it too. It's just a trend I've noticed. I'm not really sure…

It's sad that a piece of fruit looks better in panties than my butt.

SO depressing. But there's a silver lining, though. And it is: just look at all these stories about the women who bonded and commiserated with the women their boyfriends were cheating with, and blamed the cheating asshole instead of each other! Every time some idiot comes at me with "Women can't have true friendships…

Anybody who knows me knows this story. Burner ahoy!

Because maybe, just maybe, the government decided you made enough money to not warrant welfare? But of course, you're a victim too though. Those damn illegals, right?

I'm very, very glad I was dirt poor in my teens and early 20s. I paid my way through college and never had more than a couple bucks to my name. If I'd had the money for a tattoo, I'd probably have all the icons from Depeche Mode's Black Celebration album tattooed on my body. Instead I stenciled them onto a jean…

My friend and his girlfriend were at the bar where I work and his girlfriend had just made an appointment to get a new tattoo. My pal decided he wanted a tattoo, so his girlfriend and I were drawing up really awful but funny ideas. My friend was like, "I'm just going to get a velociraptor wearing a monocle drinking a…

So do you guys think this is an uptick in these sorts of arrests/incidents or an uptick in the national media exposure for these kinds of arrests? Like maybe this is the summer of the neglected kids since the sharks aren't keeping up their end of the summer news cycle bargain?

I'm invading Poland later today right after my period stops.

Are those pastel M&M's?!? This kid is great! He did such an excellent job with recreating small details on a limited budget. Anyone out there hating needs to remember the hours they spent choreographing a dance with friends to a favorite song for no practical reason, or decorating a locker/skateboard/jacket/car etc.…

I think when you limit yourself to one facial expression per year it really cuts down on the wrinkles.