And even worse, the whole reason cigar bros light up is so that they can be SEEN smoking a cigar.

You lost me at “microwave.” Water and salt only, no stirring, boiled on the stove. If I wanted something sweet and creamy I wouldn’t be eating oats.

“A lady with a gun has more fun” is killing me!!! I learned this in college when all the drag queens were having way more fun at the club than I was.

I had a doctor tell me “Once you get married and have a kid, it’ll go away.” I was 22 at the time. I didn’t get married until I was 32 and have yet to procreate. So I was just supposed to suck it up for the last 20 years??? My second opinion did a laparoscopy and found that my uterus pushes blood into my fallopian…

That sounds like PMDD, not PMS.

I saw this a few days ago. I didn’t pick up on any hot sexual tension. To me the sex parts seemed mechanical. Maybe it was that the rest of the film was so sparse? What I did appreciate was the artistic license taken with the dead baby. It gave a human touch to the whole ambition-at-any-cost aspect of the original…

I’ve always thought this is the way it should be. Daughters get the mom’s last name and sons get the dad’s. I’m glad someone in the real world who had kids found this to be a great idea too.

I starred this because now I’m going to have “Last Christmas” stuck in my head. So the star is for effectiveness, not necessarily because I like it.

Someone stole my dream job!!!

Isn’t that a sign of fetal alcohol syndrome?

My chiropractor says yes, that is indeed how life is for the rest of us.

I didn’t really read the headline and assumed this was a list of what people named their products of being stuck in the house last winter.

Does that mean there’s a positive association between diabetics trying to maintain sugar levels and psychopathy?

My first thought is that maybe they had been abused by family members and were seeking STD screenings and b/c information.

I just forked over my cash. I figured my life was worth more than the $40 I had in my change purse. BUT, I was instructed to dump the contents of the bag on the ground and opted to just drop the bag opening-side up because I wasn’t losing all the fucking lipsticks I had in there.

I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I feel like the most humane thing to do would have been to put this cat down.

Once my bangs get past a certain length, they just turn into greasy strands. I am going to have to try this dry shampoo business so my hairdresser can stop screaming at me for wanting my bangs so short and I can get a bang trim between dye jobs like a normal person.

This is not the direction in which equality should be going.

Maybe if we made a semantic shift and called mass shooting deaths “post-term non-elective abortions” or something...and made graphic videos of the aftermath and then blamed it on liberals somehow?