So were six people travelling together and decided to wrap all their favors in the same newspaper, or did one person get such a kick out of the favors, they took six?

I roasted a whole chicken for the first time in my entire life. I signed up for an organic veggie delivery co-op at the office, so I’ve been over-doing it with the vegetarian meals and really, really craving flesh. While eating a delicata squash half stuffed with quinoa, onion, red pepper, walnuts, and goat cheese and…

When I was in high school my boyfriend’s mom used to tell me that if I kept eating macaroni, eventually that’s how my thighs would end up looking. Alas, she was correct. So all noodles are thigh noodles, apparently.

Beautifully written but all this article needed to say is: Fall = cinnamon brooms and that makes it the worst. The end.

It’s one of those things that’s all about context. If a kid with southern parents calls me Miss Agouti, I’m perfectly happy because I know that’s how they were taught. If another kid calls me Mrs. Avenger, so be it. I might correct them to say “Ms.” It’s when adults call me “Mrs. Avenger” that I get annoyed, because I…

I wouldn’t want to feed some asshole who would post that meme either.

Every time I see that meme “Men Cooking: Because this generation of women don’t know how” I make sure to respond “Men Cooking: Because they are human and need nourishment”

Except that’s exactly how you make a bright young person susceptible to being recruited by terrorists, so that’s counterproductive on their part.

Is that her son?

He could also offer to go to rehab for Josh Duggar while he’s at it.

I’m getting this kind of vibe from the photo-op.

Huckabee or her husband wearing overalls in a place other than a field?

Holy shit! Her mom held the office forever AND her son works there?

I also hope she also has to pay back her salary for the time she wasn’t doing her fucking job.

Your pig is an agouti, therefore, if it ever needs avenging, I will be glad to do it.

Earlier this week I was disappointed that a Higher Ed job posting wasn’t for the Colorado School of Mimes. Alas, it was mines. Mimes and college are a theme lately.

My dad who speaks fluent Spanish decided not to teach me because, he said “I always got in trouble for speaking Spanish.” My maternal grandfather spoke fluent German until WWII when he became afraid of uttering his parents’ mother tongue. So much cultural history lost in the name of assimilation! In conclusion: fuck…

“And now you tell me that you’re having my baby. I’ll tell you that I’m happy if you want me to.”

I prefer “gentleman friend” as it both annoys him and confuses most other people.

My first insertion was painful. The second time was better. I believe the skill and patience of the doctor made the difference.