If you have a backyard and able to do a fire pit, have your guests bring the fixings for S’mores.

Let’s compromise and put Obama on the $20.

My mom taught first grade for 30 years in Westchester County NY
 and during the last 10 years she commented that a lot of new students didn’t know how to read and/or write.

You’re right. I’m one of those old farts who still watches TV on a TV.

Put your burrito on a plate, when you’re done, lick the plate clean.

I wish Netflix would alert you that movies in your DVD queue are available as streaming.

Now he’ll never get into the Evil League of Evil 

OR he’ll finally say he never wanted the job anyway, that the White House is a shithole, that Hilary should have been President, that Obama should have been allowed another term.

If Fox News says your rally is a good size, it’s a nice way of saying it’s small.

Go old school

I’m sending curds and whey to the throwers.

I open up cereal boxes and fold them inside out (so the regular cardboard is exposed), then put them in the trash bag before the can. This gets rid of the air and absorbs any liquids.

You might as well asked him how fucking magnets work.

He uses twitter to write his own fan-fic fantasies. I wonder how many times he had to be stopped from writing about banging Ivanka.

My name is Max, my world is fire and blood.

My personal fave from Mr. Martin is Roxanne.