Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I would like you to join a political party I’m forming that is 100% focused on revenge.

Maybe Don’t Charge an E-Scooter If You Plan to Do Crimes

That’s so sad. He probably could have run faster than the scooter’s top speed.

Wow, he has really thick hair

Sounds like you might need some Dsuvia.

the use of the term “potency” is really inaccurate. Do they mean in terms of medically significant dose? in terms of mu-opiod receptor binding affinity? in terms of perceived analgesia? In terms of physiological response?

To be perfectly honest, fentanyl isn’t that scary on a lot of those metrics: it is effective in…

And Trump wears the cone of shame!!!!

“Really good move, here Jim. You see, in the game of chess, when you saw your own leg off, you have to take a timeout”

If I OD, then I do so happily. I want Sarah Sanders run out of DC next and back into the triple-wide with maw and paw Huck.

“And Roger Stone really pulled one over on the FBI today, didn’t he, Bill? Advantage Trump!”

You forgot one Samantha;

Oh god, can someone please turn those comments into a liquid medium and main line it right into my veins?

Frankly, this seems like GREAT news to me! I suspect the population of people who would happily spend their money on an app to help Silicon Valley investors further undermine public transportation intersects heavily with the population of people who won’t think healthcare is a human right until they experience the…

Speaking of shills...amirite Komrade?

While your comment is well done and probably 100% correct, it’s a bit glum.

My odometer only moves forward.  Remind me not to buy a car from you. 

Did someone way two minutes to midnight?

These End Times-keepers

I was just making a bad joke... that the phishing quiz was actually phishing.. and that’s how you passed. Everyone knows the best jokes need explained.