What a fucking tool.

Nearly everything in this world is fucking shit, but one of the few things that gives me hope on a daily basis is that we live in a world where A-Rod has entered an astounding and much-loved second career in his post-playing life and Jeets is flailing and insulting Bryant fucking Gumbel on national TV.

He calls Bryant Gumbel mentally weak on his own show? Jeter has a lot to learn about re2pect.

The 5th inning isn’t late, and 5-0 isn’t a blowout. And god forbid someone show emotion on the field. The game is already 90% standing around doing nothing, its nice to see anything to break up the monotony

This supporting cast is so wretched that unless Lebron has a game for the ages every night, they struggle to compete with nice, but not spectacular teams like the Pacers.

The Cavs’ roster is like somebody using one credit card to pay off another, and then vice versa, repeating, until the whole thing collapses.

You cannot write an article like this and leave off JR Smith’s Carlton Banks moment to end the game. That was quintessential JR and it happened on 4/20.

The NBA Playoffs will not get better than this. Thank you so much, JR.

I buy their dried mango then eat the whole pack on the way home. Everything else is worthless.

As a Texan, HEB.

Fed is the GOAT, but tennis has never seen anything like Rafa on clay.

Don’t worry, Clio. I’m sure all that money will be used to create MORE, BETTER PAYING JOBS! Republicans told us that’s what would happen, so I’m sure they wouldn’t lie to us.

I am still waiting on my Soros money for all the protests I’ve attended and Facebook posts I’ve made, but I would also like to get in line for the bank handout, thanks.

Boston fans believing that other teams are lined up to trade their top-5 NBA player for Al Fucking Horford and some chaff will never cease to amuse me.

Is everyone blind? You get a gather and two steps. He gathers, takes two steps, then passes the ball before completing his third step. No travel.

I don’t know, but whoever came up with that TRUSTED should be put before a firing squad.

Same number of steps you can legally take for a layup. He just changed his mind last second and dished it. Case closed.

The thing is, it’s not a freaking travel! He stops dribbling and takes two steps, jumps, and passes before he lands. These traveling truthers are the worst.

In watched it a bunch. I don’t think he traveled.

The truthers are going to have a field day with this one.

Next week on Hannah Is A Downer: ‘Ratatouille’ Is A Joyful Rejection Of Basic Hygiene