My husband works out of town and honestly it is the best thing ever. He comes into town, we have wild and crazy sex, catch up, and then he goes out of town again. Every time a fight is bubbling up he leaves. It is heaven. He also gets a ton of airline miles, hotel perks, and rental car days. I’ve been able to fly…

Wow. Are you me?

A few days away from this myself and I am JAZZED to breathe again soon. I will probably be bored for a few weeks without a built-in friend (more like built-in jackass!), but it will be nice to play guitar freely, cook for myself, fart, not be fighting with someone constantly, etc. CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU!!!!!!!!!

Good for you! 

This is how I felt after breaking up with my long term boyfriend. Sure, there is sadness, but there is also a fucktonne of relief. More power to you, sis.

You made a big decision! Congrats on making it.

Yay for you. I’ve been there and I remember how great it felt to get a good night’s sleep.

Dating SUCKS. So hard. Just went on my first first date in a decade (was in a relationship for seven years, but was with friends and friends of friends before that, so the whole ‘first date’ wasn’t a thing)

I left my relationship of 5 years almost two years ago. Dating again was weird as hell, especially as a single mom. My number one thing is, DON’T SETTLE. I mean, have your fun of course, but if anything gets serious, don’t fucking settle. Also, dudes are weird hahaha. I just completely forgot about that honestly.

Take care of yourself, get to know yourself again. I wouldn’t jump into dating straight away, myself. Be happy in your alone-ness for a while and enjoy your own company.

I write this so often, but when you wake up just luxuriate in the fact that you don’t have to think about the excuses or evasions you had to tell to avoid the impossible tasks and unwritten rules that most abusive people use because they know you can never win, and then feel how great it feels to wake up and not feel…

Be open-minded, but also be cautious and don’t take shit from nobody. My ex-girlfriend for example, she was into penis mutilation. That didn’t bother me at all. I was willing to look past a weird quirk and we had a wonderful relationship together for about 6 months.

Came here to say this. Thawed just a few minutes so they don’t break your teeth and they’re perfect.

I told my dad if he started watching Fox News after he retired, I was putting him in a home. He still hates Trump so, so far so good.

the girl in the Red Room

The important thing is that one of Mr. Peanutbutter’s ideas make money, so Oxnard can finally spend that day with his son.

People have a vested interest in not understanding how gangs and gang violence work, because if we did understand, we’d all have to admit our culpability in their formation.

Apparently the acoustics are not good in that room, as a result the tv audience doesn’t hear how loud the applause actually is. This came out after seth meyers did the WHCD.

I thought the responses really amplified the humor for me. Those were great roasts and then spanning to the audience, those roasts hit their targets hard. She played to the viewer and this viewer hasn’t laughed that hard in years. I was cackling. I had to take some ibuprofen and drink a glass of water after watching…