“I saw you in the meeting today, Malcom. I know you were thinking about me. I saw that tent you pitched looking at our texts from last night.”

*shudder*

Intellect is a construct?

With scalding water and a pumice stone and possibly gasoline

Been humped by a couple dogs and at no point did I think I should bone the dog. No, I wanted a hose to get them the fuck off of me. I believe this is the appropriate response to horny creatures of a different species.

I’ll take Jap Anus Relations for $200.

I’ll take “The Rapists” for$200.

I would bare hands murder an adorable woodland creature for $25 and an hour for a pedicure.

The cost of daycare for my family would cost the exact amount of my husband’s income so it makes no sense to just work to pay daycare so I can work, too. The struggle is real and you have outlined it perfectly. If it were more affordable/subsidised, we could be buying a 2nd car, a home, vacationing, getting that much…

I had plans for my MIL to watch my kids so I could go back to work and help my hubs dig out of his cancer debts and into a mortgage and she turned out to be a sociopath. Ha! *pulls hair out* We moved to the hood instead to get our rent to 1/4 of my husband’s pay instead of 1/3 and give up on the mortgage till my kid’s…

In my kid’s school every day is 7:15 to 2:45 except Wednesday’s which is till 11:45 and that whole thing is definitely helpful for no one trying to work.

Sneaky bastads

Your friends sound like assholes and not friends.

Don’t try actual logic with the things garbage people say. It’s all too rational for someone who will willingly shell out 3.5 mil in hush money and then claim there’s nothing to hush. *pulls out hair*

Yeah the sans undies part is the one that screams sexual assault. Sometimes I wonder how defense lawyers feel about things that they know are horseshit. Practitioners of law, please give me some IRL info to sate my curiosity of the law path I declined to take.

My only hope is that he is increasingly publicly shamed that “may it may not” drive him to suicide. I meam, Bernie Madoff didn’t even fondle anyone (as far as we know). Yeah yeah ppl loveto v like ohhh aren’t you progressives supposed to care for everyone and to that I say nay, punishment free child molesters must die.

I read this as “I would finish in one shit sitting” at first.

I may have squirted one out... haha

Just think happy thoughts like his adorable part on Agents of SHIELD where there’s several of him.

Life ruiner!