On my 21st, I went to a casino to play blackjack. I hit when I had 17 and it was a full table. I got a four, the dealer ended up with a 20. Everyone at the table was pissed, and I’m told I was making this face to my table mates:

I am so excited for the “Hamilton” mixtape. “Satisfied” is being covered by Ashanti and Ja Rule AND I AM NOT JOKING, PEOPLE!!!!

this guy.

What perverse witchery makes him look 45 with long hair, and 14 with short?

He’s so fucking hot I don’t even care.

Eh, I bet she writes a lot of songs that she doesn’t end up using because they don’t fit her sound/image. Besides, isn’t songwriting where the money is at anyway?

Right? Just like all those paintings of people suffering in Hell for eternity.

That was an excellent selection. Although I wish it was one entry longer because the one about the guy on the Craigslist date with the guy who worked real estate and was making noises in the basement was terrifying. I thought about that story for DAYS after I read it. Scary as hell.

So I submitted one before but didn’t realize that I could submit via the comments (thought I forgot my password! I didn’t )

For me it’s the fact that he was so controlled about it that he could be like, didn’t go according to plan? K, boldy say bye and head out for the next round. GAH. So much premeditation.

For whatever reason, I was the most terrified by the mental image of a would-be attacker crawling on the floor. Just fucking terrifying.

Yaaaaay! This is my favorite thing Jezebel does all year. In case anyone else is like me and can’t get enough of these stories, I posted these links before, and am reposting for posterity:

Actually, this is more likely the reaction of E! hearing about the split and how much better it’ll make the show:

What are we talking about? Human years? Soul years? Creative years? Years of what?

I feel like you just described some Pickman’s Model amalgamation of every guy I’ve ever dated.

One resident, Jennifer Pereira told NBC, “[The attack] doesn’t surprise me because the doors over here don’t even have a lock. I tried to tell the landlord that.”

Last night did it for me. After 6 seasons I am throwing in the towel and walking the fuck away. First, the gore was out of control even for a show that never avoids gore. To me it went the way of the last few Saw movies where gore was all there was. Second, while the deaths of 2 main characters was shocking it didn’t…

The Recording Academy:

“if his album is not nominated in no categories, I’m not showing up to the Grammys”