A U.S. district attorney would take one look at that case and start drooling all over his "providing material support for terrorism" statutes.

Yeah, I think Sarah Palin's just an everyday dimwitted local politician who got thrust onto the national political scene, so she went shopping for political advisors and found a great deal at the reality TV producer store.

Point taken, but Bill Kristol and this radio DJ were both inspired by it.

"We had to destroy this village in order to save it", "We will invade Iraq as liberators"… Bill Kristol and his compadres have jumped through that particular mental hoop so many times they don't even notice it anymore.

So in addition to this, there's #BoycottStarWarsVII which is trending because the movie doesn't have white guys in it, and during my drive home the crusty old conservative DJ on the classic rock station was talking about how stupid light sabers and Jedi are when the rest of the galaxy has blasters and armies, which a)…

Yeah, it's almost like the guy who wrote the first couple movies was a rebellious newcomer trying to break into a massive closed industry, and the guy who wrote the second trilogy was the center of a gigantic centralized organization.

modifying The Big Lebowski quotations

Ugh. Both liberals and conservatives demand that the Iran deal be a success or a failure before the next news cycle so they can score some points on Twitter, but that's not how it works. You'll find out whether or not it worked 30 years from now, based on whether or not there are smoking radioactive craters where…

This might just be adding insult to ignominy, but I'm nominating Stephen Harper for punchable face of the week.

Dammit, there's a Trumpkin/toupee/merkin/furkin joke in there somewhere but I can't find it.

Seriously, can we get some of those red-robed dudes lined up outside Air Force One? Those guys are dope.

I'm afraid to go find out whether this parody account is legit or faking it. Is there a Poe's Law for extreme nerdism?

Billy Crystal's humor runs more to Jewish mother jokes than nerdy political satire.

So do I have this right? Canadians get to choose between Dubya 2.0, my high school history teacher, or that guy from One Direction?

So I started writing a parody Star Wars dweeb reply about the technical limitations of X-wings in cold environments, and then I thought, I bet someone's already had this conversation on the Internet. Yup.

So wait, was the office guy wearing a flight suit underneath his dress shirt, or did he change while standing on the nose of the X-wing? Come on, people, these sorts of continuity errors are inexcusable in an ad for an A-list property!

If I'm remembering the same youtube video you are, it featured a girl doing that trick, so yeah, I think I know exactly the sort of guy you're talking about. "It's easy. The chick did it, so I can too, no problem."

Baseball players are more than twice as far away from the pitcher, though.

The thrown bat rule is serious business, too.

Does this mean people will stop pronouncing it "jiggawatts" so I can stop flinching every time I hear it?