What if enhancing my intelligence means that I unravel the secret of the cosmos, laying the notion that we're worthless specks of dust born to suffer and dance to the whims of maddening darkness and nothing more, on a pitiless shite-rock drifting across the silent emptiness on a granite foundation of unassailable…

Hipster humiliates woman on a flight: who cares.
Turns out it was a hoax and he was just bored: who cares.
Turns out that reality TV still sucks: who cares.

Some things are just too boring to hate.

"This was to ensure that Hans Hörbiger's pseudoscientific theory of "Glacial Cosmogony" (a bizarre theory suggesting that ice was the foundational substance of all cosmic processes) would be adhered to..."

Although I don't recall the source, I read once that Himmler subscribed to the notion that the Aryan race did not…

Argh, you plucked my fruit!

Technically, your heart growing 3 sizes would be pretty fucking bad for you. Medically speaking. At any rate, I really hope that Miles beats his cancer, grows up, and beats then beats criminals.

Science tells us just listen to this until it's fine.

Not half as bad as the Kickstarter campaign to replace every instance of the word "robot" in this cartoon with the N-word.

Some - in fact, many of the Clone Wars eps were surprisingly very very good.

Anyways, I found "Sith" to be very affecting. That was the one in which he fell to Chaos completely, right? The siege of Terra, the battle with the Emperor. the Angel's sacrifice, all that? That was a rough one for sure, damned operatic if you…

Only in front of strangers, only in Paris, and only on a Metro platform.

(Yes, that was me.)

I tried to explain this phenomenon, at least in theory, to my father (for whom English is not his first language." His response was emphatic:

"You CANNOT put raw alcohol in your colon. Well . . . you can. But devil's gonna show you who's boss."

" . . . because California is awful, and still get a tasty Mission-style burrito pretty much wherever you end up! This is because a Mission-style burrito is just a really fuggin' large burrito with extra rice and (figurative) shit in it. Mmmmmmmm."

Carbonated prune juice. It's not bad, actually.

I tried to explain the vodka soaked butt tampon to my father, who responded thusly: "You can't put raw alcohol in your colon. Well, you can. But then Devil's gonna show you who's boss."

Damn it, you stole my joke before I made it.

I keep to a strict regimen of Erythroxylum myself - I've never felt so smart! (And handsome, and witty, and important.)

Wait, wot?! I thought it was a secret coded movie about how we genocided and disenfranchised the Native Americans. And the Holocaust.
Eh, throw the Moon Landing in while you're at it.

"It'll fight if it has to, but it's vulnerable out in the open. If it takes us over, then it has no more enemies, nobody left to kill it. And then it's won."

Watched this while listening to the "Sunshine" soundtrack. This is an experience I can recommend.

Those cake-mixes aren't ejaculating, they're explosively pooping upwards. There's nothing gender normative about upward explosion poops.