The shower thing wouldn't kill me. Like others have said, wet wipes, heated snow, etc would do in a pinch. But there's no running water so apparently there are no toilets. So what do you do? Outhouses in freezing temperatures? Seriously, this would be my biggest concern.

So many laughs, so many close calls of the spitting-red-wine-at-the-laptop-screen variety. Nicely done, ladies.

Hey, if the rest of them get hit by a truck during the season finale, who am I to object?

Now that that's out of the way, can we discuss the reality show that REALLY needs to happen? Khloe and Scott enjoy some drinks while watching live footage of the rest of the Kardashian family and they get to do a hilarious running commentary.

Sadly, I must admit that I didn't guess this, which, in retrospect, seems pretty stupid since Ian's story about being abducted in Eqypt would basically have to be bullshit in order for my fake-foreign-prison theory to make sense.

I am SO susceptible to beauty product suggestions (even when they're not technically being suggested). It's why I can't buy magazines anymore. I might as well have just pulled the Sephora website up the second I started to read this. Dear lord, WHY MUST I BE SO MALLEABLE?

I guessed that they were in a fake foreign jail when the "call to prayer" happened. I knew that there was no freedom beyond the red door (though I thought maybe there would be a brick wall or something). Despite my mostly accurate guesses I am still, STILL so fucking confused at this moment.

The braids really tie this whole look together.

So your first reply wasn't bitchy enough and you decided to add more? Why are you even on here if your mission is to be a dick to everyone? And my comment is backed up by anatomy. Maybe you need an orgasm to loosen the fuck up.

For those of you defending this woman's attitude, please keep in mind that directions were given at the time that it was supposed to be women and children first in the lifeboats. Now she may be pissed about getting side eye over her own survival, but her husband was not supposed to take up a spot in that lifeboat.…

Actually, a full bladder can actually help a woman orgasm more easily and/or more intensely. Try it some time!

As a child in the late 80s, my mom decided to give me a home perm. To this day I really don't understand this decision because I have naturally curly hair, but apparently she wanted Shirley Temple ringlets or something and I was along for the ride. Sufficed to say, it was not good. I ended up with tight old lady…

Oh, holy crap! The radioactive boy scout lives in my area? And apparently he's not only crazy (who could've guessed?) but is still endlessly fascinated with nuclear power.

It's not on hold music. It's just hold music. It's JUST hold music. IT'S JUST HOLD MUSIC! Whew. I feel better now.

It's strange, but I do find that since getting mine, I've felt compelled to recommend IUDs to anyone and everyone I encounter. It's sort of like joining a cult. But it's not just hype. Having an IUD honestly IS magical, like having a unicorn guarding your uterus.

Gwyneth sans makeup = Sissy Spacek in Carrie

I don't think they settle for firing you. I'm pretty sure the celebrity whose privacy you violated gets to watch as you get tortured.

I guess working in a hospital has really desensitized me. I was eating when I started reading this and tried to brace myself for a possible lost appetite, but nope. Nada. I guess having to hear/smell/discuss people's bowel movements on a regular basis has just taken all the romance out of it for me.

At the request of my sister, I made an Amazon list. And it was good. Truly, I outdid myself with this one. Reasonably priced items (our price limit was $50), each and every one I would be psyched to get. I got, instead, what I can only describe as $25 worth of gag gifts that will go in the back of the closet and/or…

As far as your situation with your sister goes, you said you're both in your late 20s, which means, depending on her specialty, she is either still a resident or a new attending. My point is that she's inexperienced, possibly still learning herself, and you say you're concerned about the Munchausen's diagnosis simply…