Seriously—laughing at the idea that Jezebel writers are OK to speak on this topic, but Mark Ruffalo or Kerry Washington or John Cusack isn't.

Since when does being famous mean you give up freedom of speech?

I used to love watching this show on our Vizio, while relaxing on the La-Z-Boy and eating Doritos (Cool Ranch flavor).

Yeah, that's right. I'm like the Carrie Bradshaw of middle America, bitches.

Her favorite season WOULD be fall.

She should have kept a spreadsheet showing the decrease in ejaculate over several months.

Thank you, I needed this after that article about rosebudding.

A song with pretty much any hook other than "kill 'em" would have been better for today.

Oh what's the matter? Afraid to use your usual slang here, wizzie? You call everyone "normalfags", not "normies".

Not as magical but still fun:

I don't know if I have the definition of gif and meme wrong, either way, amazing.

Why? Women who get catcalled are regular women so if you reverse it it makes sense to do it to 'regular' guys. It's about illustrating the behavior not getting revenge.

...because mental illness is funny?

I tried out 16 illegal drugs for this bracket and have been drinking myself silly so that I could answer everything in good faith — and fucking coffee is going to take it!!! Unbelievable!

What is this, like a Mormon naughtiness bracket?

Sooo... can anyone loan me $3,000?

Mike's Hard Lemonade has a creepy fixation on much, much younger women.