I'm irredeemable in most states. But CA, OR, and WA will still give you five cents for me.

"Going to shitty movies" is one industry I'm ready to give away to the Chinese, thank you very much.

Farmersonly.com

Yeah, I know that I'm supposed to be all like "both sides do it" and whatever, but fuck it. One party's supporters were seen lugging around rifles outside their convention just to prove that they could, one party attracted a bunch of guys with shaved heads who went around calling themselves the "Sons of Odin," one…

A guy who looks like Tupac? So what? I'm sure Gindr has tons of those.

Isn't the Prince of Darkness supposed to be cunning and bewitchingly sly? He went toe-to-toe with Jesus once. Either a couple of millennia have really taken a toll on his cognitive functions or the guy was seriously over-hyped. This is some seriously lame shit here, people.

Is Tim Sebastian from the BBC's "HardTalk" still alive? Get him to do it. Goddamn, was he brutal.

For pure psychopathy, there's the kid from Joshua. He was genuinely creepy. Put him in, too.

I was asking myself "Has anyone ever mashed up Warren G and Kenny G?" The answer is yes. They've performed together:

You've got to think of getting drunk beforehand as putting on a sort of mind-condom.

It's either this or that shit they sell in the plastic bottle again, Xanderpuss.

"I want more soul, fucker!"

Nah. More like Newsertainment.

Gee, I don't know, Scoob!

5, 6, 7, 8 I USE THIS HAND TO MASTURBATE.

They were, like the Fugees, blunted on Reality.

His older brother died of alcohol-related causes. Trump's only intelligent in a brute-force, mean-kid kind of way, but I'll wager even he took a lesson there.

I think Kasich might have been the only one to really fit the old Northern-Republican mold. But it's weird to feel Marco Rubio nostalgia.

Not much diff, once you take into account that there are probably thousands of Russian Green Card holders who don't have anything to do with this mess.

He was always on the Republican party's liberal wing. He told people he wasn't and nobody bought it. I'd actually consider casting a vote for him versus Hillary. One of the last Yankee Republicans. The rest are dead, out of politics, or Democrats now.