If @gus_sheridan:disqus has known too many people like Jean, I've known too many people like Larry. I actually roomed with someone at college who was depressingly like him.

So you come up with that headline and go with the guy from "The Room" instead of Ian Curtis? For shame!

Six movies is nothing. There are over eight hundred volumes of Homegrown Video's eponymous people-gettin'-it-on-in-their-own-living-room amateur porn series. It's been going since 1982. I'm absolutely convinced that every single volume is worth watching.

Actually, if you did a crossover with "Underworld", you'd produce the ultimate terrible movie.

But even Bill was forgiven, eventually. He was even cheered at Fenway. Three championships heal all wounds.

I actually signed up for it a while ago, just to see how it had changed. It's way high-rez these days. My internet connection isn't the best, so it felt really clunky, but at the same time, it's gotten really complex. Like, you can change eight billion things about your character, but nothing flows logically. It's…

These days, I'd settle for high-priced shallow pleasure. Heck, I'd settle for low-priced sleazy kicks most days.

Then there's always the prank call where you call some random number and say "Uh, is this the suicide hotline?" and when they say, "no, sorry," yell "I CAN'T EVEN DO THIS RIGHT!"

This.

Jane's Addiction "Three Days" Astonishingly majestic. Swirls and dips sort of like a living thing.

When people ask, I usually cry out "I NEVER LEARNED TO READ!" in a heartbroken voice.

Love the username.

This thing is gonna have whole matinees full of aunts in tears. Invest in Kleenex now.

I'm pretty sure that Thirstin' More is a beer mascot of some sort. Maybe Duff Man's antagonist?

The thing is, there wasn't anything particularly interesting — as far as I've heard — in the State Department memos that Manning leaked. The biggest thing we learned that the Army may have undercounted the number of civilian deaths in Iraq, which was not really so shocking. Trump seems to have blurted out something of…

Perhaps you'd like to try our sincerity omelet today, monsieur? It's served with a side of meaningful hash browns and some very well-intentioned asparagus that have been sauteed in a "no, really" vinaigrette.

You, sir, are a man among men. Walk proudly into Nude Valhalla.

Air hockey might be the only sport in which you can bruise your armpit.

Could they all stop smiling at me like that? It's making me feel uncomfortable.

What if…what if she just points at your junk and laughs derisively? What'll you do then?