Oh no, force me to spend $6 and be treated to unlimited shitty, delicious mac & cheese pizza. Fuck you, fuck all of you. Cici’s rules.

I mean, that sounds nice and all, but Shaq was one of the most dominant and successful players in NBA history despite never rising above “miserable” as a free-throw shooter.

Tom, should you focus on his penis when his balls are the real story? I understand the confusion since there’s not a vas deferens between the two.

Maybe, but they’ll be paying full price for tickets.

Here’s what that work chat convo looked like when the game ended.

Go directly to hell, you absolute nightmare of a person.

Counterpoint: This is an owner who campaigned to screw over Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder.

Less impressive than Chris Bosh’s cameo:

You sure about that?

Remember, Pai is an idiot and every time he opens his mouth, he loudly reminds America how much of one he is...

So was anyone else super disappointed that mad scientist Qyburn’s super secret dragon killing weapon was a freakin’ ballista?

Eli Fucking Manning is the only thing standing between the world and Six-Time Champion Fancy Dog Tom Brady.

What kind of monster tells Dolan not to quit his day job?

I have no rooting interest in the Knicks but a guy yelling on TV about a team executive whose first move was signing a guy on crack is a story regardless of proximity to New York.

Oh sure, now they want Kaepernick to get down on his knees.

A better joke would have been (insert someone else’s witty rejoinder here)

What makes this so difficult is you almost feel like you personally know the players and have a genuine connection with them after investing so much time, energy, and emotion over the course of their long careers with UK.

This is a good burn

I went to Dunkin’ Donuts this weekend and ordered 5 donuts and 10 Munchkins. (They weren’t all for me, shut it.) I received 4 donuts and no Munchkins and had to go back to get the rest.

Actually, he’s a Spur.