I feel great shame now.

His name is Whett Thudd. Modern scouts, with their algorithms and advanced metrics, will tell you he’s too small and too slow to make an NFL roster. But what those bean-counters can’t see on their spreadsheets, what old-school football men know in their hearts, is that this former Appalachian State standout linebacker…

The jury must have been filled with old white men scared shitless about losing their own jobs.

I’m not sure where the scare quotes would be most appropriate in that sentence that you just wrote.

Brown cannot wait to catch passes from Landry Jones again.

Hell yeah man, fuck poor people am I right!!!! 

I’m with you. For too long the Homeless have been getting all the breaks. Time for the rich to get something from government for a change.

Counterpoint: don’t steal poor people’s shit.

Hell yes, was not expecting to find a pro-steal-shit-from-poor-homeless-people advocate in this comment section, but I love to be surprised. Big fan of just wrecking the shit of people who have so little after using them for photo ops.

I have to say, as a non-Yankee fan, this systematic destruction of Jeter’s carefully crafted public image - largely at his own hands - pleases me greatly.

So Blount 70 in 108 games, less than .7 targets a game. Ajayi 65 in 31, over 2 targets a game. That means Ajayi has been targetted about 3 times as often as Blount is. Not quite getting your point.

I don’t know, Timothy. This list seems pretty fucking overexplained.

I can’t tell whether you mean Zeke, the judge, Jerrah, or Goodell, but I appreciate both the quality of the curse and the fact that the only grammatical rule to which you adhered was capitalizing Lego.

Fuck him. Ashamed of his heritage.

A lot of people say the crucifix was in, but I think he nailed it. And yet the double-A Binghamton Mets fans are screaming GIVE US BARABBAS (Antonio Barabbas, young Dominican shortstop prospect).

STIGMATA, CHRIST HAS COME AND TIM SHALL LEAD THE ANGELS IN A CLEANSING OF THE EARTH..

but he is chiefly famous for his speed records.

If you own one of these machines, or invested money in it, your right to vote should be taken away because you are fucking idiot.

Pictured: Luck’s successful surgery.

Why doesn’t the NBA mind the player-for-a-day thing when it comes to Derrick Rose?