You should fight Albert too.

EDIT: I was right that time passes more slowly for the object in space, but that means you’re correct that Mark is even older now.

Classic

Q: How many US Swimmers does it take to fuck up one night of drinking in a town where you are basically celebrities so bad it turns into an international incident?

Dressage: There’s no way I’d be able to dance on all fours with Countess Becky from UpperDerbyShireWich whacking me with a switch. I’d turn on her and be put down before the NBC tape delay cut to another Mary Cirillo badmitten rant.

The Seven Minute War?

Are we to assume only the Whiz and Franklin poster are different in this otherwise daily ritual?...NICE!

Donald Trump wins the next election.

You forgot to add raccoon for the wormy goodness it provides.

“Below is my interview with Sergey Isayenko, a fencing coach at MFC since the club opened in 2007—almost 11 years.”

Mr. Kelly, you said that the defendant threatened that if you didn’t, and I quote, “Stick things up your butt, he would rape your butt until the room stinks, and then he would eat your butt and his son’s butt until his stomach was... full of butt.”

The Flying Saucer? I was there last November for a ASME conference, and that place became my home away from home.

They sell Golden Monkeys in talls at the Victory Brew Hall at Philly Live next to the stadiums. It sounds so pleasant, the buddha monkey looking so pensive and peaceful. Those damn monkeys are responsible for several unfortunate events in my life, including buying a Ryan Howard jersey (this year) and enjoying the…

I wish there was some sort of PHilter for these bad puns.

Indeed! Getting a fresh B”O”H now.

Your sports talk radio show is Skippy and Sphincter on 590, The Sports Execution.

This is how I felt about my drive last year from Houston to Dallas to visit a friend while on travel for work. I mean, there were some things, but those things were nothing.

Coach K is a honest to god, real life Rat-man.

No. Please stop. They pointed out a legit logical error in the your otherwise interesting article.

...and WHO is in control of Congress? C’mon, we can get through this together...