I just asked my vibrator if I was a "lonely fuck" and it said BUZZZZZZZZZZZ...

I would say the worst part of being vegan is that naturally a lot of your friends are anti-vax, anti-fluoride, anti-GMO nutjobs.

Christ. Doesn't anybody name their kids Mary and John anymore?

I unabashedly love this song. Can't say the same for the video.

I'm jealous your daughter has a diva cup mentor! The first time I used mine, I seriously cried because I could.not.get.it.out.

Is it just me or does she look exactly like Kim K here? I had to do a double take.

"I guess you're supposed to give this to your mother-in-law. Or, if you want to make it fun, your coworker who just gave birth to a baby boy."

I have a bit of a reaction to Breathe Me as it was playing at the end of Six Feet Under and I have never cried harder for a tv show/movie/piece of entertainment in my life. That show got under my skin, bro.

I'm confused about how you feel, so I'll just share how I feel: They seem happy. The age difference doesn't bother me. It may last, it may not, but after seeing Tom Daley on the Jonathan Ross show, and he was so in love, I'm just happy for them.

Honestly, in a world where nobody really makes much of a fuss about Joaquin, Alec and pretty much every other straight guy dating a younger girl I refuse to care about Tom and Dustin.

Did anyone check out the Courtney Stodden link? It's a ridiculous, faux-paparazzi photo shoot in a supermarket! What?!??! Is it art imitating life, life imitating art, or cheese imitating Velveeta? So weird!

Fuck yeah Tatiana Maslany!!

"When you look at the plot of The Sound of Music from another angle, what you get is the story of a badass, financially independent baroness whose fiancé leaves her for the nanny."

Well, Maria is a nun-school dropout who married her boss. I wouldn't take my relationship advice from her, either.

I rather hope the family in the Walmart commercials come to a nasty end.

I wonder if Liam Neeson's son inherited his father's legendary endowment?

He really really REALLY DEAR JESUS REALLY is growing up so well.

I wasn't really interested in the gents of 1D before, but damn does the height of those trousers tease me something fierce.

This pre-show is annoying and pointless. But I have cookies, and I won't share them with the twits on my screen.