I love this. I wish them a glorious, hilarious life together.

Isn't that just lemon juice?

#BikiniBridgetoTarasLabia

Happy to help.

You're not alone. A wee bit o' scruff, yes. Full on Lumberjack, or worse, 1980s accountant, no thank you.

Unfortunately, it also allows for a prevalence of heads getting stuck up asses.

I love your user name. Are you Tammy 1? 2?

I believe you mean "prolly"

So the shark scared the ability to perform a convincing South African accent right out of him?

Are you sure the answer isn't really "liberal consipracy"?

Not just you. It's his miiiind. His super awesome, slightly snarky mind. So hot.

Another fantastic and applicable NDT quote: "The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it."

Yes. Oh man, so many awful people. My misanthropy didn't need support today, but here it is!

Red next to black, venom lack.

If you're interested in trying something less likely to induce a diabetic coma, try a decent bottle of Tempranillo or Crianza priced over $20 or recommended by the store owner. It will be a more complete, complex, wine-ful experience, I promise!

God I hate Sangiovese varietals. Makes my job hard when I'm trying to sell a cheap Chianti and the potential customer asks me how I find it. "Well, I hate Sangiovese, so that's a thing..."

You are not-so-secretly correct, generally. Moscato makes me want to brush my teeth.

Cab and Merlot are the base varietals for many, many red blends which are becoming increasingly popular on the market. Additionally, consumer palate is turning to sweeter wines more and more, which is frankly repulsive, but Merlot can offer a malleable base for a sweeter wine. And with the expansion and development of…

Tracy Anderson pretending she likes cheese.

I'm generally all for not telling others how to parent, as I myself am not a parent, but FFS, the theater should have at least tried to talk him down from that ticket purchase. What is wrong with some people!? Says the woman whose father let her watch Aliens at age four...